Strengthening Your Referral Mindset
Always Work Harder On Strengthening Your Referral Mindset, Rather Than Trying To Make A Name For Yourself.
You know that mindset is more important than technique.
You can have all the magic words in the world and if you don’t have the referral mindset, you will only tap into a very small percentage of your referral opportunity.
The referral mindset is made up of three key concepts.
1- Purpose
2- Boundaries
3- Integrity
Purpose
I like to ask the agents and lenders I teach, what is the single word focus for their business?
The words I hear most frequently are ‘service’ and ‘profit’.
Then I like to suggest that a word that better encompasses everything they want is ‘referral’.
I would like to suggest to you that if you were to define your business purpose with one best word, that word would be ‘referral’.
Think about it.
If you have a plumbing problem, would you rather look in the yellow pages or contact a plumber that you are referred to?
If profitability is important to you, then realize building a referral business costs you literally nothing in marketing, since the marketing is done by people who like you, know you and trust you.
If service is important to you, then realize that in order for people to refer you, they must receive value that is remarkable.
The word ‘remarkable’ means they are willing to remark about what they received to others in a positive, powerful way.
So would you consider that the reason you’re in business is to create an experience that people are so outrageously happy with that all they want to do is refer you to the people they care about?
Boundaries
Just like countries have borders, you have boundaries.
Imagine that boundaries are invisible lines you draw around yourself that shape your interactions with others. Just like countries have borders to shape their values and culture.
Borders and boundaries are similar because they are necessary in order to structure and unify the way you run your business or your country.
You can encourage collaborative, respectful behavior when a person enters into your life.
You communicate clearly before a person enters into relationship with you how you define healthy, supportive relationships.
It starts with the simplicity of a five-star prospect -- open, friendly, knows what they want, will do it soon, will work with you, and then goes deeper into your core values of how you choose to treat each other while in relationship.
Strong boundaries will help sustain your energy by tempering the interruptions that cause you to lose focus.
I am not going to tell you to begin to educate your colleagues, manager and the other professionals who have a stake in your success about your boundaries, because you already know how important it is to teach people how to treat you.
I will tell you that if you don’t communicate clearly your boundaries, don’t expect them to know what they are. You’ve heard me say that the only place you can read minds is in marriage and sometimes that doesn’t work very well either.
People who have already decided that the By Referral Only way of life is what fits them, naturally agree that removing all the tolerations that ‘cost’ you in terms of time, money, energy, and inner peace, will become a higher priority the more you embrace the mindset of healthy boundaries.
Integrity
The final part of the BY REFERRAL ONLY mindset is integrity.
Your integrity defines how you stand up for your values, morals, and ethics.
Your integrity demonstrates how your boundaries ‘translate’ into actions.
It’s important to be a person of integrity, is it not?
I wonder whether you are aware of the fact that your business practices and the behavior that you display in the process will identify you either as referable – or not?
I wouldn’t advise you to expect or ask for referrals until you have a few basic positive behaviors that support referrability.
Referrability is...being on time, because this indicates how you will behave during the transaction and throughout the relationship.
When you respect the value of another’s time, you are also modeling your expectations of their behavior regarding your time.
Referrabilty is...telling the truth – always -- even when it’s more convenient not to.
Referrability is...doing what you say you’re going to do.
Sooner or later your outward behavior indicates the kind of person you are on the inside.
Some people say to me the clearer you become about how and with whom you choose to work, the more you’ll attract the type of high-quality, compatible clients you seek. I know that this means that when your boundaries, purpose and integrity are in alignment and demonstrated during your day-to-day consulting, you’re referable!
Integrity is really being who you appear to be because you’re authentic.
Integrity is honoring your commitment to build the kind of business and life you choose for yourself and your family.
When your purpose and boundaries are clear, it’s easier to make good decisions, because your integrity guides (and simplifies) your choices, like the point of True North, on a compass.

Joe,
At the Reston Main Event you did a in-touch for a new agent using his past experience. You told me to check your blog on Monday after however I don't seem to find it. Did you get it back from him? Thanks for your help
Posted by: Reed F. Furman | August 24, 2006 at 02:37 PM