Joe's Journal

"Who’s the Next Person You Know..."

When you’re talking to a client, or a friend, or a family member, and your conversation is almost complete, ask this powerful question.

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Magic Words That Get Referrals

Shawn: "Okay Joe, thanks for calling me. Have a great day." And I say, "Thank you, Shawn. Oh, by the way, I was wondering – who’s the next person you know that is most likely to buy, sell or borrow?"

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That’s very powerful.
The secret to this strategy is in the transition words, "Oh, by the way." Those words, "Oh, by the way," are very similar to what the detective Colombo might do.
Do you remember the TV show Colombo?

After saying, "Oh, by the way," the next words are critical. "Who is the next person you know that is most likely to buy, sell or borrow?"

I remember when I was having lunch with a high producing, By Referral Only Super Servant in 1994. We were practicing this strategy in a restaurant with the waiter and the waitress, and I demonstrated the wrong way to ask, and then I gave them the right way to ask. (By the way, this is how I have fun and keep my sanity when I’m on the road. I practice my techniques on every waiter and waitress!).

The first waiter walked in and I said, "Oh, by the way, do you know anyone who wants to buy or sell a house?" And the waiter said, "No, I don’t." We laughed a little bit and I said,

"Now, watch what I do next time." And I encouraged everyone at the table to listen to the subtle way that I changed a few words. And I promised them that they would witness a huge difference in the way that the next waiter or waitress responded.

A few moments later, a waitress walked over to our table and I asked for a cup of coffee. This was the first time she’d come over. She poured me a cup of coffee and told me that she was going to return to the kitchen.

And I said, "Oh, by the way," and she turned to me and made real good, clear eye contact. And I firmly said, "The people at this table are some of the best real estate agents and lenders in the entire Dayton, Ohio area. And we were wondering who is the next person you know that is most likely to sell their home?"

And the waitress paused and looked up to the left, as if she was searching her memory bank for a name, and then responded,

"The next person I know that would most likely be… that would be my father. He’ll be retiring soon and he’s been saying for years that he wanted to sell his house."

Everybody at the lunch table just gasped. Again, the keywords are, "Who is the next person you know that is most likely to buy, sell or borrow?"

These words are so powerful. I hope you polish and perfect them and practice and drill and rehearse them.

Go for it!

Take The Referral Challenge - Right Now!

Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the center.

On the left side, write the word ‘Referral’. 

On the right side, write the word ‘Un-referred’. 

On the left side, make a list of the last five people you served, that were direct referrals.

Lenders, in your case, I want you to think of referrals not from real estate agents, but from clients. 

On the right side of the page, under the heading ‘Un-referred’, make a list of the last five people you worked with who came from advertising, flyers, rate calls, your Automatic Prospecting System, websites, direct response marketing – any type of marketing where you had to spend money to attract someone you didn’t know.

Now, make a check mark next to each ‘Referral’ name or ‘Un-referred’ name that best describes the clients in the ten questions.

1.    Which clients were most profitable?
2.    Which clients did you really enjoy following up with?
3.    Which clients treated you more like a trusted advisor versus a salesperson?
4.    Which clients have already referred others to you?
5.    Which clients respected your personal time most?
6.    Which clients would you invite to your home for dinner with your family?
7.    Which clients took the least amount of time to serve?
8.    Which clients thanked you sincerely for what you did for them?
9.    Which clients listened most intensely and took your advice most readily?
10.    Which clients do you share similar values with?

If you’re like thousands of lenders and agents all over North America, more than likely, the clients you favor most come from the referral side. 

There may be an exception or two, but that’s exactly what it is – the exception. When you work with people who are referred, you get people who:
•    Pay you what you are worth.
•    Make working with you a pleasurable experience. 
•    Trust you. 
•    Refer you. 
•    Respect you. 
•    Thank you. 
•    Listen to you. 
•    And they share your same values. 

I would say those are some darn good reasons to work By Referral Only!

Wouldn't you?

What Is It Like To Be Highly Approachable?

What is it like when you imagine how you naturally act when you meet people for the very first time?

How do you know when you’re trying too hard to get people to like you?

What feeling do you have inside when you’re trying to be approachable, and yet the person you’re with is not responding to your style?

Has that ever happened to you?

You were approachable and they were not?

Maybe or maybe not what you did was tried harder to be more approachable, and it just created more distance between you and them.

How would you like to know how to get people to be equally as approachable as you are during your first meeting?

I don’t know if you have been to The Main Event 3-day training, or if you enrolled to go our San Diego event, or a future date -- either way, it’s a good thing for you to do!

On day two, I teach that before you can establish approachability, you must first establish credibility.

How would it feel to have the language skills both verbal and bodily, to create instant credibility, because that is what makes the difference between the pros and the amateurs?

So if you’re ready to turn pro, here is the first of my "100 Laws of Referability".

Referability Law #1 -- Slow To Smile

I am not going to ask you not to smile when you meet people, because conventional wisdom says be quick to smile. But being referable is about being unconventional.

Do you know the difference between credibility and approachability?

Has anyone ever tried to approach you with advice before he established his credibility?

I would call that a ‘traditionally trained salesperson’. When traditionally trained salespeople first make eye contact with a person, they flash a smile - often a nervous, unauthentic one at that.

They are attempting to get approachability.

What I teach is that you cannot have approachability, until you have credibility.

When you first meet a person in the role of consultant, you are in ‘presentations’ mode.

The person who is meeting you is unconsciously deciding if he feels safe with you and wondering if you really know what you are doing. He wants to know that you can represent them and their best interest.

Be firm with your eye contact.

Hold it.

Breathe, count to 5, and then smile.

The smile says that you are now open for a relationship.

The traditional salesperson is floundering around with a keyboard size smile saying, “I will work with anyone.”

The referable consultant knows credibility before approachability.

Rely On Reflex, Not Recall

The secret to Referral Mastery, is to be prepared for any type of situation in advance, because you choose to rely on your referral reflex, not recall under pressure.

I’m curious -- have you noticed that your brain is better at processing, not storage?

You may have noticed what a poor filing cabinet your brain is. That is why it’s essential you read now, yesterdays’ posting on ‘Referral Reflex’!

Now, for today’s Power Referral Dialogue training.

Has it ever occurred to you, that people may be referring others to you and the people they are referring are not calling you for one reason or another?

I wonder if you know what that is all about?

What would it be like to have a Power Referral Dialogue for when you hear this?

"I'm telling people about you. I am surprised not one has called you," or something like that.

If you’ve been in business for more than five minutes, you have probably heard that more than a few times.

So how do you respond when you hear that?

Try this.

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Magic Words That Get Referrals

Client: “I’m telling people about you.”

You: “Thank you! I really appreciate you being an advocate for me. May I ask who specifically you have told about me?”

Client: “My sister, Jean. I told her all about you.”

You:  “That was so nice of you. Now, I haven’t heard from your sister Jean yet. I imagine you still want me to help her, do you not?”

Client: “Yes, I do want you to talk to her.”

You: “Imagine if you were me and you wanted to get into a conversation with your sister Jean, because you wanted to make sure she gets the right advice and counsel she needs. What would you do right now?”

Client: “I would call her now.”

You: “Because you want to make sure she gets the right advice and counsel, let’s do that now!”

*****

Any time you get a question or are in a situation that you don’t have a response to, write it down and send it to me. I will consider it for a future blog.

In the meantime, have you seen the new changes at By Referral Only?

Over the last year, we have spent one million dollars reinventing our company to better serve our fast growing membership.

Check it out today.

As one of the old members just told me, “The new ‘Total Solution Center’ is by far, the most advanced technology I have ever seen to run a real estate or mortgage business with ease and grace”.

I like those words…‘run your business with ease and grace’!

Go check it out right now.

See Tom and Sally Cooks New Blog

Here is a great example of how to use your Real Estate or Lending blog. Check out how Tom and Sally Cook are communicationg with their local market.

Why Can't You See Real Estate Signs At Night?

It's pretty simple... often, there is no street light right where you'd like it and running a spotlight and extension cord from the house seems pretty crude.

I've often given some thought as to how to light up my For Sale signs at night to give my Toronto Real Estate seller clients more exposure for their homes and to make it obvious to people driving by after dusk, that there are full-color feature sheets mounted in a box on that signpost.

Finally, there seems to be a solution... a California company recently came up with a portable lighting system that sits up on the top of the sign and has two LED light arms extending out to both sides of the sign.

I just installed the first three of them last night... what do you think?

There's a bit of ongoing 'battery' maintenance with them but I think the result is terrific.

What Is The Best Way For You To Develop ‘The Referral Reflex’?

As you can imagine, getting referrals is about using the right words at the right time in the right way.

If you have read the last 51 postings, then you have noticed that my unique ability is language, specifically, referral language.

Because I know how to speak in a way and teach in a way that gets referrals, it’s safe for you to say, “Joe Stumpf wants me to get more referrals and he can show me exactly how. All I need to do is be coachable and willing to learn what he knows.”

So listen.

The only toolbox you have is your words. Open your mouth and you open up your toolbox. Isn’t it nice to know you have a toolbox and all have to do is learn how to use the tools inside it?

Here is my secret to internalizing my Power Referral Dialogues.

The difference between the pro and the amateur is something I call, ‘The Referral Reflex’. The Referral Reflex starts to work automatically after 21 repetitions.

Imagine you want to learn the following hypnotic referral suggestion. When a person compliments you on the nice job you have done for them, you plant a hypnotic referral suggestion.

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Magic Words That Get Referrals

Client: “Great job, Tom!”

You: “Thanks for noticing. I am sure I could count on you to do the same for me if I were your client and you were my agent, and because you know how important your referrals are to my business, I am sure I can count on you to refer me to the people you care about.”

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In the future blogs, I will show you how to embed commands and display them in orange.

Now be silent. Let that go inside their brain and watch and listen to how your client responds. It’s next to magical!

Now make that a reflex.

Write it out in your journal.
Read it out loud.
Then say it without looking at it.
Then read it out loud.
Then say it with looking at it.

Repeat that cycle 21 times and you will cut a new, neuro network in your brain, so when a person says “Great job!” you won’t think, you will just reflex.

Thanks for noticing. I am sure I could count on you to do the same for me if I were your client and you were my agent, and because you know how important your referrals are to my business, I am sure I can count on you to refer me to the people you care about.

Let’s Get A Referral Today!

Imagine Only Working With People Who Are Referred To You!

What is important about the mindset to ‘only work with people who are referred to you?’

Imagine that!

Who would you be, if you could not run an ad, or have a website, or do an open house for one year?

What would you do, if you could only work with people who are referred to you?

What happens when you imagine that your rights to run ads were evoked right now?

Imagine you need a license to run ads and to work with the general public.

Now imagine today, right now, your license is revoked and you cannot do any more marketing, and if you are caught, you go to jail for 6 months?

Can you bear the thought?

Maybe someday you will get to the point that your business is 100% referral and you are reaching all of your money goals!

What does that feel like when you imagine that?

Could you imagine only working with people who are referred to you?

What would be important about that to you?

Try this.

What happens when you think about your favorite past client that was referred to you?

I wonder if you can remember their name?

As you think of that person now, what qualities of character do you respect most about that person?

What did you like about working with them?

How did you meet that person?

What was the sequence of events that led to you serving them?

Maybe you are like me, and you notice that the person you are thinking of, is either a friend, or a person who was referred to you by a friend or past client. Chances are pretty good they were, don’t you agree?

Good people like you and like me who do this exercise, usually discover that this person was easy to work with because they entered their working relationship with a higher level of trust than unreferred clients.

Once you imagine working with these clients who know you, like you, and trust you, imagine working only with clients who know you, like you, and trust you. Your entire outlook toward your business will be different and your relationship with your clients will improve remarkably.

Whoever makes this shift, becomes a true By Referral Only consultant.

By the way, were you referred to joesjournal.com by someone you like and trust? How do I know? Because I do no marketing at all – to find joesjournal.com you must be referred.

Try this.

Today, what would it be like to refer one person you know, like, and trust to joesjournal.com?

Try it now and get that feeling!

Thanks,
Joe

How To Get Past My Fear Of Asking

If You Had To Teach Me How To Get Past My Fear Of Asking For Referrals, How Would You Do It?

If you’re like me, you want to be accepted.

I believe that is at the core of most of us.

I want you to accept me.

I want you to like me. Now I don’t need you to like me, but I don’t want you to reject me either.

Have you noticed that an easy way to get people to accept you and not reject you, is just to avoid asking for anything?

Experts have told me that that is the little child in us. Maybe it’s the 10-year old girl or boy in you, who learned early, that you risk rejection when you put yourself in the position of asking someone for something.

If there was a miracle tonight and you no longer feared asking for referrals, how would you know?

Would you recognize that your child has grown up, because you would know real estate and lending is an adult business?

What would it feel like if you knew that, when you ask for a referral and the person says they don’t know anyone, they’re not saying they don’t know anyone forever?

They’re saying, “I don’t know anyone right now.”

What’s it feel like to know it’s not a personal attack or rejection?

Along with the Power Referral Dialogues taught at By Referral Only, you may have to do some inner work along with the outer work of implementing systems and strategies.

Try this.

Today, focus on gaining your acceptance from yourself, not from others.

Notice that growing your confidence and self-esteem, is a lot of little victories over a long period of time, which add to an internal bank account.

Eventually, you’ll take bigger risks because you’ve got something to withdraw from.

The fastest way to drain your confidence account is to set unrealistic outcome goals.

What’s important is to not get attached to the outcome when you ask for a referral. Instead, attach yourself to changing your behavior around asking.

The behavior of planting a referral seed or asking for a referral is what you call victory.

Let the victory be about the behavior and not about the results.

If you work on your behavior, the results will follow.

Here is a quick bonus script when someone says they don’t know anyone.

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Magic Words That Get Referrals

“I don’t know anyone.”

“Thank you for taking the time to think about it. The next time you are in a conversation with someone and they mention they are looking to buy a larger, more spacious home, please don’t keep me a secret.”

“Would you be comfortable if I check back with you in a few months to see if anyone comes to mind?”

*****

One more thing.

You can do this, because thousands of agents and lenders all over North America are using my Power Referral Dialogues very successfully to build high, six-figure referral businesses and you can too.

Check out all the new systems we have at By Referral Only to guide you toward your six-figure income.

I'm Just Wondering, Wondering Out Loud!

Last night I went to a late movie, 'The Da Vinci Code'.

As I got out of my car, I noticed this cart in the area adjacent to the parking lot.

I had to take pictures of it because, it is an example of the complete opposite of what I teach.

I am sure this agent is a terrific person and more than likely a great agent.

Maybe you're like me and you see these cart ads in almost every city you go. What I am wondering, is what is the cost of this marketing? Do you ever wonder about that?

I am also wondering if the people who do this type of marketing spend as much of their marketing dollars on their friends, family and past clients, as they do on their carts.

I am just wondering -- wondering out loud!

What Will It Be Like When The Purpose of Your Business Is Referral?

Good Morning, (just discovered color).

Just the other day I heard a person say, "A referral is when GOOD people, send GOOD people, to GOOD people."

That sure is a nice way to say it, is it not?

On another note.

I’m curious -- what does the word ‘purpose’ mean to you?

Maybe have you noticed the recent flood of new books, The Purpose Driven Life, The Purpose Driven Person, How To Stay On Purpose, What Is Your Life Purpose, Why You Need A Purpose and The Nobel Purpose.

Do you think the publishing world is saying people do better when they have a clear purpose?

What I have discovered from each of these great books, is that the authors provide exhaustive research to prove that the most fulfilled people, the ones who have the highest self esteem, the ones that reach their goals consistently, and the ones that love what they do, all have taken the time to wordsmith their life purpose.

You, like me, know when you meet a person who radiates with happiness, success and freedom that they are clear on their purpose.

Maybe you can feel their glow, see the flow and hear how functional they are.

By now you know that I have helped thousands of agents and lenders clarify their purpose. Actually, I have helped them wordsmith it with one word!

Referral.

Do you believe, like me, that you are in business to create such a great experience for others that they respect you so deeply, that they introduce you to the people in their lives that they care about most?

If you believe that referral is your purpose, then you must declare it.

You must speak to it.

Try this.

The next time you meet in person or on the phone with a prospect for the first time, clearly communicate your purpose first.

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Magic Words That Get Referrals

“Before I answer all of your questions, it's important you know that when you choose me to be your consultant, my purpose is for you to be so outrageously happy with the level of service I provide you, that you gladly refer 2 people to me before your transaction is closed.”

*****

What's it feel like to be on purpose?

Hurray for us...because you have been telling so many people about joesjournal.com, yesterday 451 people visited us for the first time.

Thank you for all the GOOD things you are saying about joesjournal!

Do it now!

A Message From Mandy

Hi Joe,

I wanted to share with you how powerful this 10-point initial consultation really is for me.

I really learned to identify with the new scripts and then lean toward the importance of credibility before approachability.

And, I had to face my demons...I have been a member of By Referral Only for years. I have a fantastic ‘During’ unit with touch points (like congratulations gifts dropped off at my clients’ office the day they go into escrow, 11 fantastic letters with goodies sent to the clients through the timeline, housewarming parties for every client, moving day buckets on front steps on moving day, etc.)  I had a strong ‘After’ unit - monthly newsletter, monthly Letter from the Heart, monthly Evidence of Success postcards, and an annual Client Appreciation BBQ.

I even have a great ‘Before’ unit - with an APS system, ugly yellow signs, and more.  I was REALLY working it...but I was getting very few referrals.  I had a lot of repeat business.  And, let's face it, the By Referral Only mindset alone, is worth the coaching club costs.   

The mindset of By Referral Only has made me a better consultant, a better mom, a better wife, and, frankly, a better person.  But, WHERE WERE THE REFERRALS?

I know now that the referrals were lost in the fact that I hadn't even ONE TIME, done the initial consultation.

I would have stood up and told the entire world that I was By Referral Only to the core...I would have sworn it!  And yet, without an initial consultation, I was never even comfortable asking for a referral.

It was time I made a change with you!

I took a few days at first to really get my teeth around the structure of the new initial consultation.

I outlined it.

I read it over and over.

I wrote it out in my words.

Then...I got to work.  And, I just started memorizing.  After memorizing, I slowed it down and made it truer to myself.   

Today, I stood to share the Consult, Negotiate, and Oversee section with our group.

Afterward, you thanked me for standing up and sharing and I looked to you to tell you "Thank you!"

Point #5 of the initial consultation is probably the most important...but it is just one part of an incredible 10-point consultation that I thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing to me.

It has given me the strength to embrace and run TO a consultation (instead of away from it).

And, more importantly, it has given me the power to ask for referrals throughout the transaction with comfort and ease.

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!

If you should ever want me to share the 10-point initial consultation with a group of consultants, I would be happy to do so.  I want our entire community to know that it seems much bigger and harder than it really is, once you just commit to it. And, committing to it is nothing short of priceless.

Warmest Regards,
Mandy Tanberg
RE/MAX Woodland

Consultant.Negotiator.Overseer of the Transactional Details.

Can you imagine people being five times more interested in what you have to say?

I wouldn’t tell you that it’s essential that you improve your ability to get people more interested in what you’re saying unless it was true.

I don’t know if you have already begun to notice that people have more options then ever before when it comes time to sell their house, buy a house or borrow money.

Wouldn’t you agree with that fact?

In the days and weeks ahead, you will begin to notice if your language skills have the power to get people interested in you as their option, when it’s time to buy, sell or borrow.

How would it feel to have the exact language that causes people to choose you as their lender or agent, because when they listen to what you say, they know by your language skills, that you have so much more value to offer then any other option?

You would like that, would you not?

Again, think of what it would be like to have people five times more interested in what you have to say.

You are probably already aware of the fact that I have created “The Ideal 10 Step Presentation Consultation".

As you consider the benefits of learning “The 10 Step Presentation Consultation”, you might like to look at the posting “The 6th Step In The 10 Step Presentation Consultation”.

Because I am obsessed with teaching you how to get people five times more interested in what you are saying, I will show you the 7th step today. Eventually, you will come to my 3-day training called 'The Main Event', so you can get all 10 Steps and truly get people five times more interested in what you are saying.

Step 7 In The 10 Step Ideal Presentation Consultation

The 7th Step answers the question, “What do you do?” Your answer to this question determines how valuable you are to them. When people do not perceive your value, they ask you to reduce your fees or cut your commission. Has that ever happened to you? Imagine how good it will feel when you never hear people ask you to do that again.

I’d like to show you how the 7th Step works.

There are three roles you play in your client’s life as a lender or real estate agent.

Role 1. You’re their Consultant.
Role 2. You’re their Negotiator.
Role 3. You’re their Overseer of the Transactional Details.

With these three roles in mind, here are three scripts to describe what you do.

As you read through them, you may or may not know that all three scripts have been time tested and proven in the field by some of the best agents and lenders in North America, and that is important for you to know, is it not?

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Magic Words That Get Referrals

1.  I am your Consultant.

As your consultant, I will ask you profound insightful questions.

Maybe you’ll notice they are the type of questions that the typical agent or lender might not ever take the risk of asking you.

Experience shows that a skilled consultant like me will ask you probing, intelligent questions because discovering what is really important to you, is really important to me.

It is important as your consultant, that I lead you through the process of clarifying your values, because when your values are clear, your decisions are easy and you want to make good, easy decisions, do you not?

You might also notice, consulting is listening vigilantly to your answers.

What you may not know, is that only when you have confirmed that I have heard you, then and only then, will I craft a very specific strategic process to make sure you get the best loan, best home or the best price for your home.

Also, as your consultant, one of the things I do for you is appropriately define the problems we encounter during our transaction because you need to differentiate essential objectives from less relevant concerns.

Experience also shows me how to anticipate likely obstacles to achieving your objectives and then identify sensible means to circumvent them.

Imagine how good you’ll feel knowing your consultant is recognizing and balancing the different needs of all the relevant people impacted by the decisions you make.

Listen carefully. As your consultant, I will recognize when serious flaws in my own ideas require my swift, public acknowledgement.

I make mistakes and I am willing to make dramatic changes in new directions when required.

I will consistently demonstrate my ability to recognize my own personal biases and I will use this awareness to constantly be improving my thinking, because it’s important to you that you realize your dreams.

2.  I am your Negotiator.

Because I treat your money like it is mine, when it is time to save you or make you money, I am like a 'Pit Bull'.

You, like me, know that money is an emotional issue and to represent your own self is like performing surgery on yourself. You would never do that, would you?

If being healthy is important to you, then you delegate that to a person you trust and respect.

Like me, you probably believe it’s in your best interest to have a skilled, experienced and focused negotiator on your team.

Imagine what it will be like to have a person who deals with your money, to critically examine the accuracy of the underlying assumptions being relied on.

While negotiating for you, I will skillfully articulate the strengths and weaknesses of the suggestions other agents or lenders propose.

Sooner or later, you will become aware that my negotiating skills alone are worth every penny you pay me.

Because, as your negotiator, I recognize the likely underlying agendas and motivations of individuals that are involved in your transaction.

You’ll also notice how quickly I anticipate the likely emotional reactions of individuals to actions or communications.

As your negotiator, I will appropriately articulate the essential flaws in the arguments of others, and reiterate the strengths of our positions.

I will recognize when it’s appropriate to resist the objection of others and remain committed to a sound course of action.

3.  I Oversee The Details

I oversee all the transactional details because every transition has 100 to 150 phone calls alone, and each one of them is loaded with critical details.

As you can imagine, every ‘I’ most be dotted and every ‘T’ must be crossed, because there are 100 pieces of paper requiring upward to 43 signatures and initials, and making a mistake can be very costly to you.

Did you know that there are 43 different people from 14 different industries that get involved during the 7 stages of your transaction?

Imagine that selling/buying/borrowing is like flying an airplane across the country. My role is to be your pilot and you are my passenger. We may or may not run into turbulence. Have you ever been a passenger in a plane? Have you ever been in turbulence? Then you know!

To make it easy for you to see everything that I do that you don’t see from the passenger seat, I created a list of 88 different types of turbulence. (Show list and explain 8 to 10 of them).

It’s good to have a pilot like me, because my role is to oversee all these details.

You will also notice that, as your pilot, I will always recognize what is known about an issue, what more needs to be known, and how to best obtain the relevant and accurate information needed.

As a matter of fact, one of my greatest skills is to see things from multiple perspectives so I can identify likely, unintended consequences of our decisions.

As the person who oversees all of the details on your transaction, I recognize the conclusions that can and cannot be drawn from a particular exchange with all the different people involved.

I will appropriately consider the probable effects and likely, unintended consequences that may result from taking a particular course of action.

As the person who oversees all of the details on your transaction, I will pursue and encourage feedback that may reveal an error in my judgment and then make appropriate adjustments.

*****

How I Organize My Top 150 List

By now you are aware of my concept called your Top 150 list. I teach this powerful organizing system on day three of ‘The Main Event’.

What you may not know, is that when you organize your Top 150 list into a series of four concentric circles, then you will become even more aware of how each of the 150 people contribute to the growth of your business.

Perhaps you now know someone who is now ready to grow his or her business -- maybe it’s you!

As you consider the benefits of investing the time to organize your Top 150 into four groups so your business grows and grows, keep in mind, that if you continue to do what you have always done, you will continue to get what you already got – you’ve got to do something different, if you want something different.

I call this referral concept “The Concentric Circle Of Referral.”

Try this.                                                                              

Get a poster board.

Draw four concentric circles.

Now imagine your circle of influence in the shape of concentric circles.

The Inner Circle Contains 5 People.

Your closest, intimate friends form our innermost circle, usually 5 people. These are the five individuals you feel a close, emotional connection to. These five people share common interests, values and opinions.

I have noticed I am happiest when I am fully investing time, love and energy with my core group of five. Lets call this core your ‘support group’.

Take a minute and write the initials of the five people who are in your innermost circle.

The Next Circle Holds 20 People.

Circle two contains the 20 people whom we have strong relationships with, yet under pressure, we would turn to the innermost circle first for assistance.

My relationship with the people at circle two is less strong then the inner group, but I maintain caring, mutual interests with them. I speak with them weekly on the phone and respond to all of their emails instantly.

Who are the people in your life that are in this circle? Write down their initials in the circle. These people could be a golfing buddy, co-workers, relatives, even a brother or sister, maybe even parents, grandmothers and grandfathers.
.

The Next Circle Has 40 People.

My attachment to the people in this circle is considerably looser, though I still have regular contact with them. This might be your hairdresser, clients you repeat with frequently, a trainer, people at the Chamber, Rotary Club, your broker, manager, or attorney.

The Next Circle Has 85 People.

My fourth circle contains clients that I would invite to a ‘Joe Day’. For me, these are the people who, in my business life, have crossed over into my personal life. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for who they are, even though I may only see them or talk to them quarterly and sometimes bi-annually. This group you connect with at least quarterly through common interest, like your kids, golf, tennis, or work.

In military terms, a battle unit is 10 to 12 soldiers, a platoon is 35 and a company is 120 to 150.

This is the magical maximum of your Top 150.

At By Referral Only, we have designed a specific system to guide you in strategically identifying your Concentric Referral Circle, and then communicate with them in a dynamic, effective way to all four levels to maximize your referral and repeat business opportunity.

What’s It Like To Be Addicted To Hopium?

I wonder if you are aware that people get addicted to hopium.

You may or may not know, that hopium, is when people rely on hope more then they do on well, thought out, professionally written, Power Referral Dialogues.

By now, you know carefully crafted Power Referral Dialogues are what grows your referral business, expands your wealth and creates unstoppable confidence, not hope.

When it comes time to build a referral business, hope is a lousy strategy.

Maybe you know someone who takes large doses of hopium daily?

I am not telling you that you are taking hopium, only you know the truth. You will start to notice someone loaded on hopium just by listening to the way they talk about getting referrals.

They might say things like, “I hope they call me back,” or “I hope they refer someone to me,” or “I hope they tell their mom about me.”
“I hope the deal closes on Tuesday”, I hope, I hope, I hope…

You can relate, can you not?

We have all taken our share of referral hopium.

Because my intention with Joe’s Journal is to give you enough inspiration, organization, power referral dialogues and insight, which will assure you that you don’t end up in a Hopium halfway house.

People who want guaranteed referral success are getting coached at By Referral Only, because they want a deliberate and organized referral system, don’t you?

On a side note read, Hope is Not a Strategy, by Rick Page.

The title says it all.

When it comes to getting referrals, hope is a lousy strategy.

Because referral generating is an organized, deliberate and conscious effort, the single most important part of that strategy is your ability to speak referralease.

Don’t look up the word, you won’t find it.

I made it up. It is spelled correctly.

It means the language of referral.

If you’re on the golf course you speak golfease  - words like fore, birdie, bogie. On the tennis court you speak tennisease - words like love, net, deuce and so on.

When you choose to fully commit to building a By Referral Only business, you must learn the language of the game.

So, keep coming back everyday, and I’ll be speaking this magnificent new language, or just head over to By Referral Only and get your masters degree in referralease.

Oh, by the way, congratulations for kicking the hopium habit!

Standing Room Only At The Chicago Main Event!

The Skehen Team                 Tom Cook #1 Canada    David Pickard Sue's boy!

A Letter From Nate After The Main Event

Joe,

I attended your recent Chicago Main Event.  I've never been in the real
Estate or Lending business.  In fact, I'm just getting started as a financial
advisor.

But one thing was completely clear to me from the conference.

It's not "the systems" you provide that make the Main Event so powerful, as
some were saying.  It's that those systems transform the consultants into
humans. 

With the Main Event's message and systems, we're humans again.  It's the
golden rule.

Nate Ahern

What Success Means To Me!

Imagine how good you will feel when you clearly define what success means to you!

A few weeks ago I got an interesting phone call from one of my long time By Referral Only coaching clients. Imagine having the same coach for 10 years -- that’s a genius level of commitment.

He asked me, ”Joe what do you think about helping me double the size of my company over the next year?”

I said, “Are you sure you want to double the size of your business?”

He said, “Yes”.

I said, “Are you sure enough to be unsure?”

He said, “What do you mean?”

I asked, “What happens when you imagine your business twice the size you are now, and how will being twice as large affect the wider scope of your entire life?”

Because I knew he was consistently selling 75 homes a year using the By Referral Only ‘Before /During/After Systems’ that he learned at the Main Event, I wanted to hear more.

One of the things I didn’t know was what was important about doubling the size of his company right now to him.

I asked him to close his eyes and go inside and imagine what it would be like selling 150 homes a year and look inside and see how that would affect his family, children, vacation time and profitability. Because he is coachable, he did it.

Then I told him the story of Thomas Leonard.

You may or may not know Thomas Leonard. He is the guy who started the coaching business movement about 10 years ago. He founded a company named Coachu.com and coachville.com.

Thomas and I talked a lot about success, what it was, what it wasn’t, and how critical it was to have your own personal definition of success.

Thomas believed that only after you had clearly defined a response to the statement “I know I am successful when I ________________”, could you make the decisions necessary for your success.

He encouraged everyone to have 10 answers to that question, so whenever you were struggling with what to do next in your life, just look at how you defined success.

Once you have written out your 10 definitions, you can then learn to make all of your decisions based on your own personal definition of success.

Here is the statement:

I know I am being successful when_____________________________.

Fill in the blank. Try it again. Do it 10 times.

I know I am being successful when______________________________.

You will notice just how good you start feeling as soon as you start writing your statements, because you know if you want to produce good results in your life, you first must feel good.

It makes me feel good sharing my top ten ways that I define success with you. Maybe you will want to feel good and share your top 10 with me.

Sooner or later you will want to do this and feel good about it, so why not do it right now!

10 Ways I Define Success For Me

1.    I know I am being successful when I am joyfully teaching what I am learning.

2.    I know I am being successful when the number of people who are impacted by my teaching/coaching is increasing daily.

3.    I know I am being successful when my writing and teaching is fully congruent with my behavior – when I’m walking my talk.

4.    I know I am being successful by how often I am feeling inspired and energized to create something new.

5.    I know I am being successful by how well I treat my body and mind.

6.    I know I am being successful when I watch my kids becoming positive, compassionate, spiritual, loving adults.

7.    I know I am being successful by how much time I laugh each day.

8.    I know I am being successful when I enjoy every single thing I do with my time.

9.    I know I am being successful when I demonstrate the courage to change the things in life I can, and demonstrate the wisdom to know what to leave alone.

So back to my coaching client, the person who wants me to help him double his business. I asked him to ponder this question; “What is important about doubling the size of your business?” His response, “To be successful.”

I then asked him to do for me what Thomas Leonard did for me 7 years ago. I asked him to come up with 10 fill-in-the-blank statements to this inquiry.

I know I am being successful when I_____________________________.

A week later I got a call from him. He said that as a result of redefining success, that he really was not interested in doubling the size of his business, but what he was going to focus on was more time with his spouse, save more money and laugh more.

I hung up the phone, looked up to the heavens and thanked Thomas.

Thomas passed a way a few years ago, but his profound work continues to impact lives through the lives of others.

Here Is My Number 10!

    10. I know I am being successful when I am looking down from heaven and my soul tingles with joy from the impact of the work that I have left behind.

I am curious if you have you ever taken the time to define success this way.

You can go to coachville.com and get some help with examples they provide.

It may or may not be the most important thing you can do – only you will know that after you’ve done it.

By taking the time to define success, I can now orient my life around my definition of success, not the mass media definition of success for me.

Go For It!

What Makes Me Different?

On Thursday May 11th, 250 BRO members gathered in San Ramon for a one-day training.

By now, you know the most effective way to learn is through modeling. What you’re looking at below is a picture of me modeling the 8th Step in 'The New 10 Step Ideal Presentation Consultation'.

Imagine this. I asked 250 brilliant agents and lenders to tell me what they thought made me different than all the other trainers out there. I wrote down most of their answers for you to see. I then showed them how to use this step in their business to create social proof, because social proof is one of the most powerful, influencing tools in the science of NLP.

Look What Others Are Saying About What Makes Me Different!

The Brilliant People Who Are Saying All These Wonderful Things!

Dear Joe,

You have really wowed me with Joe's Journal. Thank you so much. I am thrilled to get your writings directly from Joe's Journal. I feel that it is easier to take the actions to be referable after reading your teachings online in the journal, it really is coming from your heart and intellect and I am so inspired. I will read and study from the journal often.

I truly value your teachings, so I thought it only appropiate to acknowledge you for being so committed the the real estate industry and to each and everyone that is a member of your company. You are a very skilled teacher.

By the way, it was great to see you again at the San Ramon Remodel Day. I remember you asked what value you brought to us. I thought the members were very clear and honest as they were anxious to shout out to you what is meaningful to them about you (and you took a picture of the white board of all the comments). That was a very nice acknowledgement.

Have a Great Day!

Sincerely,
Elaine

What Is The 6th Step In The 10 Step Presentation?

You may or may not know, that I train my clients (right now, about 4,000 real estate agents and lenders are enrolled in our coaching program), to use my 10 Step Presentation Consultation.

The 6th Step is explaining to your client briefly, why you do what you do. Most of the members call this step their 'Core Belief Statement', because it's such a super powerful step to connect with people’s right brain.

(As you know, I masterfully teach you how to use NLP in all your communications. I am sure you are aware of that by now, if not, you are now.)

What is it like when you do something because you really believe in it?

Experience shows that people sooner or later, will do more business with people who believe in what they do. At least that's what I believe.

The sooner you learn how to communicate what you believe, the sooner you can start finding out just how much more influential you've become.

I am not going to tell you how many more referrals you will receive, because it's obvious you seek to become more referable everyday. What you may not know, is that it is imperative that you learn how to communicate why you do what you do, in a way that connects with your clients at the emotional level.

What's important to you is to clearly and passionately communicate what you believe is in the client’s best interest.

The focus is on what you believe is best for them.

So What Do You Believe?

I asked that question at a recent Community Remodel Day in Baltimore, Maryland.

What I got back was a well thought out, clearly communicated response from David Steinberg of Summit Funding. David has been an active member of By Referral Only for more than 10 years - imagine that!
It's OK to make a decision to write your own statement when you're done reading David’s.

As you sit here listening to David, you might do your best to craft your own statement of belief using the model David has provided us.

You may or may not want assistance. Either way, feel free to call By Referral Only and talk with one of my consultants about becoming a member today... 800-950-7325. Right now, let's look at David’s example.

*****

Magic Words That Get Referrals

I believe that the market offers more mortgage products than ever before.

I believe that even when clients are aware of various mortgage products, they are often unaware of the nature and magnitude of benefits that can be realized by creatively structuring mortgage financing.

I believe that one size does not fit all when it comes to mortgages.

I believe that even sophisticated clients require expert assistance to select the mortgage(s) that best fits their needs.

I believe that successful people are busier then ever before and therefore, require that the mortgage process be made as easy as humanly possible.

I believe that my clients deserve Personal Mortgage Banking Services.

*****

Thanks David for your nice contribution.

At our upcoming Main Event, I will be teaching you how to use the By Referral Only 10 Step Presentation Consultation, so make sure you're sitting in the front row, listening and learning.

Would You Let Me Teach You How To Write A Great Letter?

You might know someone who would like to get more new business.

Below is a letter I received from a new agent asking for advice on how to get started. He just returned from the Main Event and he wanted a great letter to send to his friends and family members.

I asked him what his plan was, he told me.

I didn't want to tell him that if he did what he was planning on doing he would be out of the business in one year, but I had to tell him the truth.

Maybe you will read my advice, maybe you won't, and I am curious what advice you would have given him.

Perhaps you will even share your comments with me - thanks!

His Letter To Me

Hi Joe,

Thanks for your inspiring wisdom and love for life.

The By Referral Only system is a small fraction of the knowledge that I have taken back to Milwaukee, WI.

Your personal stories and ability to eloquently and fluidly speak with a
strong but non-intimidating presence wows me!

Enough about you, we must concentrate on me now.  I need your help.

I just got my real estate license. I’m struggling to get started.

My broker has recommended that he send a letter to all my friends, family and contacts to let them know I’m now licensed to sell real estate.

I have over 250 names, addresses and phone numbers of people to whom he could send his letter. I feel 'funny' about his strategy.  Why does he have to introduce me to people I already know?

There must be a better way.

Last week at the Main Event in Chicago I heard you talk about how to focus on the skills that you have to offer clients instead of promoting yourself as just another real estate agent.

I loved your line, “The world does not need another agent.” In our town there is one agent for every 150 people.

If I tell you a little about my past profession, would you help me write a letter that I could then send out to my list of 250 people?

Obviously your time and expertise are extremely valuable and I promise that I will repay you by referring every agent and lender with whom I come in contact.

Joe, even if you don’t respond to my request, I will be a huge advocate for the Main Event. It was a life-changing experience.

Here is a little background on me. Thank you in advance for helping me.

In my past life, I was in pharmaceutical sales. I did that for 6 years. My strengths are my attention to detail, ability to communicate clearly, and my selling skills. I really know how to influence others effectively.

Joe, I know that is not a lot to work with, but I watched you several times during the Main Event help participants write letters, postcards and emails. From the little I have told you, what kind of letter would you send out?

Thanks for the life changing experience.

D.Y.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

My Coaching

Dear D.Y.

You're surely welcome for the 'changing your life' thing.

I’m delighted to help.

Instinctively, you’re right on about your broker sending a letter to your list introducing you as a real estate agent.

Feel good, you decided well. Undoubtedly, it is one of the most ridiculous strategies used in the       real estate and mortgage business. Imagine receiving a letter from a person you don’t know telling you all about a person you already know!

Frankly, it makes no sense at all even though this practice has been used for years in our industry as one more of those 'just do something’ approaches to business.

You made a great decision to ask me to you write your letter. Luckily for you, I will now save you from that huge mistake. Remarkably, it is the type of mistake that could cost you thousands of future dollars and you would not even know how damaging it could be.

I am curious, let me ask you something. What is the purpose of sending a letter to your relationship base?

You might be asking, what do I mean by relationship base?

A relationship base is a list of names, addresses and phone numbers of people who like you, trust you and in many cases love you.

Are you communicating to the people who like you, trust you and love you in a way that says,  “ I like you, I trust you and I love you?”

It’s a good question, is it not?

Maybe you will commit right now that you will never have your broker write some generic letter that is sent out as a mass mailing to your most valuable asset – your relationship base.

Maybe you won't make that committment,if not, consider this.

Since we know there is already built in resistance towards sales professionals, you need to do everything you can to establish, build and maintain a high level of trust throughout your first communication to your relationship base.

What would it be like to feel confident telling your clients what skills you have to serve them.

Because you are a smart man, you know what people are saying when they read a letter from you.

As you sit there reading this letter I am writing to you, you're saying the same thing the people you send a leter too -- people are saying, you are saying  “What value will I get frome reading this letter?"

The reader of your letter is saying, “So what, you’re now in the real estate or mortgage business. What value does that add to my life?”

You must answer that question specifically, clearly, and quickly to establish, build and maintain trust while they read your letter.

Here is what you do.

Since you’re new to the business it means you did something before real estate. I don’t care what you did - you developed skills.

If you were a housewife, a mother, a painter, a mechanic, a postal worker, it does not matter. You have developed unique skills that can benefit the people in your relationship base.

Maybe you were a skilled listener, a compassionate teacher, a focused manager, a loving mother and persuasive insurance agent. List three specific skills you really developed.

Just thinking about this makes you now feel more self-assured, confident and purposeful.

When you are writing your letter of introduction, you choose to write with 'juice' that comes from your most authentic voice. Because you watched me help several agents do this at the Main Event, it tells me that you were smart enough to have three skills.

Let me write you a suggested letter that you can send out to your base of 250 people.

Remember when you write your letter that you are writing as if only one person is receiving it.
You are not sending it to a list of people. You are sending it to 250 people who like, trust and in many cases love you.

*****

Magic Words That Get Referrals

Dear (their first name),

Hello.

It feels good to write to you about the exciting things happening in my career.

After six productive years in the pharmaceutical business, I have made a decision to change industries so I could best serve you.

With you in mind, I consciously examined my unique skill sets and asked myself the question, “How can I use my God given talents to best serve?”

(First name) I have chosen the real estate industry and here are three
extremely important skills that I found in my inventory that will most surely benefit you.

1. Rely On Me To Pay Attention To Details
Definitely in the pharmaceutical industry I had to manage multiple projects and handle many different complex issues simultaneously while making sure every “i” was dotted and every “t” was crossed. 
You’ve heard the old saying, “The devil is in the details.” Luckily for you, I love to make sure that every issue is handled completely and thoroughly. This is certainly a critical skill for you to have representing you in all of your real estate transactions!

2. Feel Good About My Skills To Communicate
I know how to skillfully communicate with a variety of different levels of people. I confidently talk with doctors of many specialties -infectious disease, general surgeons, internal medicine – as well as pharmacists, nurses, and all types of different people in different scenarios and in different situations.
The ability to effectively communicate is absolutely one of the most critical skills you want anyone representing you to have finely honed. It is virtually impossible to succeed as your real estate consultant without this skill.

3. Be Confident That I Influence Others Positively
Rest assured that I have the ability to influence and persuade people.
Actually, you can feel good about how I help others make good decisions.
I am naturally a very good consultant. Frankly, you can trust that I will treat your money like it is my own.

(First Name) I choose to be your real estate consultant for life.

(First name), I looked at my 3 skills: my ability to organize, my ability to communicate, and my ability to influence. I bring my skills to you by being your real estate consultant. You will benefit tremendously when I serve you and meet your real estate needs by using these skills.

I believe the real estate industry does not need another real estate agent, but it does need somebody who is detail orientated, somebody who is a great communicator and somebody who is really strong at influencing others.

The next time you are in a conversation with a friend or family member who is in need of someone who is well organized, somebody who can really communicate in a powerful way and somebody who can get the job done while influencing and persuading people to achieve their outcome, call me!

I will be the person that you would want to recommend for advice on all your local and national real estate needs.  Enclosed is my new business card. I look forward to talking to you soon.

Very truly yours,

Your Real Estate Consultant for life

*****

I have an assignment for you – answer the following questions. What skills do you have that make you a vital contributor to the real estate or mortgage business?

What three skills do you possess that would benefit your friends and family members?

Once you have your three skills, use my template as a way to craft a letter to those people you have never communicated to before and explain why you got into this business.

Remind people of the skills you have that make you a more valuable consultant.

Most importantly, remind yourself of the skills you have that help others.

What would it be like to get personal coaching like this - call 800-950-7325

Don't Call Your Clients To Quickly!

Dear Real Estate or Mortgage Consultant,

When I'm in a situation like yours getting way too much screen time in and not enough client talking time, I just stop and say to yourself " It's time to talk to people about buying, selling and borrowing.”

I wonder whether you are aware of the huge amount of time wasted in front of your computer screen and not enough time talking to your clients?

One of my greatest fears right now, as you make the transition
to letting technology operate our businesses, is that you might get more screen time than client talk time, is that possible for you?

The fact that you’re reading this right now means your getting screen time!

Wait a minute…

I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just wondering out loud if you will start to look forward to talking to your prospect and clients on the phone every day.

I’m just wondering.

I don’t know whether you’ll start calling past clients, friends and family members daily.

Maybe you haven’t noticed the market slow down a bit in your area yet.

Maybe you will, maybe you won’t?

I won’t tell you to invest one hour a day talking to people you know, like and trust  because it goes without saying you will make so much more money when you do.

How would it feel if you actually did more business in this market this month then you did last month?

How quickly can you pick up the phone and call 3 people you have not talked to in 30 days and simply tell them you have time right now to serve them if they have any real estate or mortgage needs?

You may be thinking to your self right now, I could do that, I could call 3 people as soon as I am done reading Joes Journal.

Can you imagine just stopping right now and making 3 calls?

Go ahead, give it a try - do it now!

Of course I will be here for you tomorrow -  see you tomorrow!

- Joe Stumpf

My 3 Worst Mistakes!

I've probably made hundreds of mistakes during the 24 years as we built By Referral Only into a caring community of professional service people.

I’d like to share with you the three worst mistakes, the ones from which I've learned the most. Perhaps you'll learn from them, too, without having to suffer the same pain that I have.

1. Believing That Chaos Is Creative.

Early in my business development, I believed a highly visible business guru who held that "thriving on chaos" was exactly what was needed. My job description at one time was to "put out fires" and I was always living with chaos.

Today, I believe much differently. "Chaos is a killer in business because it inhibits thought, negates planning, ruptures relationships, drains energy, and destroys morale. Far from being purposeful, chaos takes the eye off goals and objectives."

2. Keeping Both Eyes Constantly On The Competition.

This is one of the great ironies of American business. Previously, I was obsessed with what my fellow speakers were doing. I discovered I was becoming a second-rate follower.

I learned about 15 years ago that just because the competition is doing it doesn't make it smart, effective, or correct. Following the competition like a shadow only indicates a lack of conviction and self-confidence.

3. Believing That The Quick Payoff Is Better Than Making An Investment.

By Referral Only is committed to long-term capital improvements, like our website and coaching services. For a long time, all I had to offer was tapes. At first, my primary interest was in making tape sales, with no investment in the future and no commitment to the customer.

in 1991 we shifted to long-term relationships and building a community of life-long learners, I have watched many tape salesmen come and go. Fortunately, business declines and recessions weed these companies out, but By Referral Only is now in its 24th year of business.

So, there are the top three mistakes that have helped me grow. I suspect you have made some mistakes as well. Perhaps you are making them right now. Reflect on these errors I have made and avoid them in your business.

Please share your thoughts and any new awareness you gain after you reflect on them.

Just Interested In Taking Referrals?

Are You Committed To Being Referable Or Are You Just Interested In Taking Referrals?

What do you think the difference is between being interested in something vs. being committed to something?

Here are a few of my thoughts about being committed to the referral process instead of just being interested in taking referrals:

What is the difference between interest and commitment?

Think about the hobbies that interested you.

What comes to mind first?

Good.

Now, think of one thing in your life that you’re really committed to.

What comes to mind first?

Feel the difference between your interest and your commitment?

I imagine that the thing you are interested in doing is something you do when all the circumstances are perfect.

For example, I am interested in boogie boarding in the Pacific Ocean.

From my table, I can see 15 to 20 surfers and boarders who are enjoying the Southern California Surf at the Cardiff Reef.

When it comes to jumping in the ocean, whether or not I do it depends upon the circumstances. 

I am interested when the weather is 80 degrees, the ocean temperature is 70 degrees, plus a friend joins me.

Under these circumstances - Gong Ho, lets hit it!

Today the temperature is 68 degrees and the water is 54 degrees - not interested.

When I think of something I am committed to, Yoga comes to mind first.

I feel challenged and inspired at the same time.

Yoga is the most ancient form of meditation and fitness. It is the perfect blend of body, mind and spirit.

Yoga was brought to the United States in 1950’s by Paramahansa Yogananda.

He set up his Self Realization Fellowship (SRF) Temple here in Encinitas, California.

Today, Encinitas has more Yoga studios in a 5-mile radius than anywhere else in the United States. It is a Yoga Mecca.

I have been practicing Yoga since 1995.

I have a committed Yoga practice.

I Love Yoga

I keep track of all my Yoga on my Goal Board.

My goal in 2006 is complete 120, 90-minute classes.

I have organized my daily plan around attending one of the five different classes offered daily.

I practice at the oldest studio in Southern California called The Yoga Room in Encinitas, California.

The master teacher is Perry Ness.

Perry teaches a flow she calls “Synergy Yoga”.

It is a 90-minute class with 60 minutes of standing poses and 30 minutes of ground poses.

It concludes with a 10-minute silent meditation.

All this is done is a room where the temperature is 100 degrees and the humidly is 50 degree’s or higher.

Yes, it’s like a de-toxic center.

It keeps you young, vibrant, alive and full of vigor.

I actually bought my home in Cardiff By The Sea to be close to the Yoga Room; that is how committed I am.   

Can you feel my enthusiasm and excitement through my sharing this with you?

What you’re feeling is my commitment.

But what does surfing and yoga have to do with referrals?

What is more true for you?

Are referrals more like my boogie boarding or more like Yoga?

Are you interested in taking referrals?

If you are just interested, you will ask for them only when the circumstances permit.

Is it like me boarding when conditions are perfect?

But when you committed to referrals you become a student of the school of referrals.

You read, you study, you go to the Main Event at least once a year, and you build you life around doing business By Referral Only.

You make it the purpose of your business.

When you are committed to referrals you make it the reason you are in business.

You are committed to creating an experience so refreshing, so healthy, so joyful for your client that all they want to do is refer you to the people they care about because they feel your commitment to them.

When you are committed to getting referrals you build the step-by-step systems that have an automatic outcome called a referral.

You become masterful at Power Referral Dialouge – you speak referraleze.

I have been teaching referral marketing to real estate and mortgage professionals for a quarter of a century.

Over three quarters of a million people have attended one or more of my workshops, listened to my tapes or read joesjournal.com daily.

I can say with confidence that the biggest difference between being a highly referable real estate or mortgage consultant vs. taking referrals from time to time is the level of commitment you have towards building a referral business.

When I invited you to read my daily blog joesjournal.com, I told you I have a commitment to creating two or three new ideas, new thoughts new insights or new strategies on how to get more referrals, become more referable or just improve your thinking about referrals.

That is my commitment. I am just as excited about writing you daily as I am doing my Yoga.

I hear agents say, “Yeah, I would be interested in learning how to get more referrals.” Then I say, “Are you willing to make getting referrals the purpose of your business?”

Only when you commit to that purpose do you create extraordinary referral results.

Lunch With Brian Tracy

Click, Listen and Learn

I met Brian in 1985 when I was a promoting personal development seminars. I had the honor of hosting some of Brians first seminars in the United States. Over time we became freinds and because of his positive impact on my life we named my first daughter Traci.      

Recently we caught up at lunch. We compared career paths. I choose the path of building a coaching company and Brian choose the path of speaker and author.

Today I have one of the largest coaching companies in North America and Brian is the most read authors on the subject of personal and professional development.

Brian is the most focused determined individual I know. His capacity to create new thoughts is astonishing. He writes a book every 90 days. Imagine that! Every time I get together with Brian I get inspired and realize how much more I can get from myself to give to others.

This is the personal development program that turned my life around. If you are really serious about making lasting change in your life what Brian teaches in the Psychology of Achievement is timeless.
I listened to the program once a year to boost my selfestem, build a stronger positive self concept and develop my unshakable self-confidence. Brian taught me how to think like a successful person before I was successful. I learned that putting affirmations and visualizations to work, I will create whatever my mind desires.
If your ready to set super specific goals for your life listen to this course.

Private Training

What would it be like to have me come to your company for a private training?

Here are some pictures I took during the break time at a private training for REMAX Execs and REMAX Palos Verde's.

Gina Blank and Sandra Sanders have invited me to come speak to their agents every May for the last 4 years.

We call it a mental spring cleaning.

Would you like to schedule a private training for your company?

Call Joseph Casey at 760-518-2563 he will give you all the details.

What Would It Be Like To Love The Process As Much As The Result?

What would it be like if you loved the process of getting referrals as much as you loved the result called a referral?

While golfing with a friend, he casually said, “I wish I could hit my irons like Tiger Woods”.

Without missing a beat I said, “No you don’t.”

He said, “What do you mean? Of course I would like to hit my irons long, high and straight just like Tiger does.”

My friend braced himself for a coaching moment.

I said, “ If you want to hit your iron shots like Tiger, then right now you must commit to hitting 1000 practice balls a day for the next 10 years and hire the best coaches in the world to make sure you’re practicing the right swing – then maybe you will hit your irons like Tiger.”

He chuckled and said, “ You’re right. I want the result but I don’t want to earn it”.

That’s a perfect way to look at building referable relationships.

The result of a highly referable relationship is a referral.

The result of years of practice shots is a great iron shot when it counts.

Are you like most people who produce mediocre referral results because you like the result more then you like the process?

The discipline of referral mastery is committing to become a genius in the process of referrals not just the glory of the result.

The process of getting a referral can be broken down to five steps.

Step 1. Plant Referral Seeds Frequently and Strategically
Step 2. Deliver A Remarkable Level of Service
Step 3. Orchestrate Referral Moments
Step 4. Ask for the Referrals Using Proven Formulas
Step 5. Follow Up with the Referred and the Referring

To find out more about how this strategic referral process works, go to By Referral Only and request a free over the phone consultation with a highly skilled referral coach.

It’s free – do it now!

Go For It!

The War of Art - Author Interview

Click, Listen and Learn

As you now know, I journal while I read because my intention is to capture my thoughts like prisoners on paper how what I am reading relates to what I am teaching you.

As you continue to read joesjournal daily, you might become aware of the fact that when I find a book that has great application to your business I record a 20 minute interview with the author.

Because you want to learn directly from the author I post the interview here at joesjournal.com for you to enjoy.

This book the War of Art is just terrific.

Click, Listen and Learn ... to the interview

Check Out My Actual Notes From Joes Journal On "The Art of War" by Steven Pressfield.

My work is My Art. My business is my gallery.

I do my work for the art. I run my business for the commerce of it. As an artist, I express myself with my art. As a businessman, I run a successful gallery.

My work is my form of self-expression. Like Sting, I express myself in my writing and speaking.

My writing is my art. My speaking is my art.My area of artist expression is building referral-based real estate and mortgage businesses.

My art is different than my gallery. Sting’s gallery is his recording company. The recording company is all about commerce.

My gallery is where I hang my work and sell my work. My gallery is all about commerce.

By Referral Only is a place you will find a lot of my art displayed. Joe’s Journal is also my gallery.

What could you create if you treated your consulting, negotiating and overseeing the transaction as your art work?

Can you see your business as your gallery ?

What does it feel like to think of your business as the place you hang your art?

Imagine your real estate or mortgage business your place where you create your art?

What I Do Is Work With Artists.

I teach. I guide. I assist real estate and mortgage professionals who have developed a desire to make their work – their art.

I coach and lead and model for those agents who see themselves as the Leonardo De Vinci of Loans or the Picasso of Real Estate?

What Would It Be Like For You To Think of Your Work As Your Art?

I’m a speaker, trainer, writer and publisher. I consider everything I create as art and joejournal.com and By Referral Only are my galleries.

My Profession Is Creating Referral Art.

I am a professional artist creating insight, awareness, knowledge, and wisdom that enhances, improves, and inspires others to be more referable. I love the depth of my art. 
I love the multiple facets of who I must be and what I must do daily to become a referable speaker, coach, writer and publisher.

The Artist’s Intentions.

My intention is to be so diligent, so focused, and so disciplined as a writer, researcher, student and teacher in the art of referrals that you, yes you, want to share my insight, wisdom and love with the people who are closest you.

Imagine you embrace the thought that each day you discipline your self to be the best consultant, negotiator, transactional detail person so that everyone who experiences you performing your art wants to tell everyone they know about your magnificence?

Everyday I get clearer on what it means to be a referral artist.

It takes a big intention to self appoint yourself as the Referral Artist. I love my big wonderful intention. How big is your intention?

What would it be like to have an intention so big that nothing else gets your attention?

Right now notice I notice that when I am lacking clarity on my intentions, everything gets my attention. How about you?

I know that with my desire to serve others and my discipline to allow my muse to work through me, my work will flow into the hearts of millions through you.

What I want for you is to make your work a piece of art.

What I want for you is what I want for myself.

I consider Mastering the Art of Getting Referrals as the most important discipline to attain if I choose to live a rich, full and happy life.

I believe the same is true for you.

I now know why I procrastinate, hesitate, isolate and simply don’t take action on my goals and dreams!

I now know.

What would it be like to never procrastinate again?

Imagine you take action instantly on all your dreams and aspirations! What would your life look like today if you had the energy and determination to finish everything you stated?

What would it feel like to never hesitate again?

Do you know the truth about resistance?

Even though creating my dreams and producing results in my life are my passions in my life, I get stalled. I meet resistance.

The minute I open my eyes in the morning and bring into focus my vision, resistance is present to bring me back to my current reality.

Resistance is a compelling force. Resistance seems to come from outside me but the truth is that it’s from within.

Pat Riley calls it the Peripheral Enemy.

All resistance knows how to do is invent new ways to take you off your vision and bring you into the emotions of your current reality.

It will never stop.

It is always there.

Resistance is a force of nature- DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

Notice, the more important the goal, the more resistance we feel.

What is the single most important thing you accomplish in your lifetime? That is where you will feel the most resistance. Resistance is a battle you fight daily.

The goal of resistance is to kill you and kill your spirit, to boil you alive.

We feed our resistance with fear – take the fear of resistance away and you choke it off from its source of energy.

The goal of resistance is to kill your confidence while at the same time ejecting you with a healthy dose of fear.

Fear is what keeps the resistance alive.

Resistance is the enemy. The enemy is a very good teacher – The Dali Lama

When does resistance get in your way of creating your art?

In the morning.
In the afternoon.
In the evening.

It’s seems to me that resistance is like some invisible force that does not want me to discover the fullness of my self.

This force wants me to believe that I am better off being mediocre.  It wants me to believe that I have lots of untapped potential.

Do you know this force? It’s the force that doesn't’t want you to call your past clients today because you can do it tomorrow.

Tomorrow never comes!

It is the force that does not ’t want to ask for referrals in the referral moment.
It wills you to ask later when you feel more confident.

The confidence never comes!

It’s the force that does not’t want you to study, prepare and practice your referral duologue's.

It’s the force that says it’s okay to wing it.

If you do, you will perform with mediocre results and you will promise you to practice next time.

Next time never comes!

You can tell the level of hollowness you feel after-wards.

The more empty you feel, the more certain you can be that your true motivation was not love but resistance.

Procrastination is the most common manifestation of resistance.

I am going to write a book and I will start tomorrow and I never get started.

Procrastination becomes a habit.

It’s the force that wants you to live a very plain life – certainly not the life of an artist.

The only way to create your best art is to crack the code on resistance.

Here is the combination to cracking THE CODE on resistance.

Invite resistance in.

I invite resistance into my life now – no more resisting resistance.

Whatever you resist persist.

My art must manifest. To embrace my art, I must take on the challenge of resistance. My art depends on me mastering resistance.

Resistance. It is a worthy opponent and I am fit for the battle.

You are ready to win this war. The War of Art.

Resistance has many faces - my favorite is distraction.

Simple distractions like people, email, phone, Internet, UPS, and the refrigerator are my favorites.

The more subtle and more cunning distractions are drama, relationship, money, no money and food.

The media, TV, magazines, and radio promise me true bliss through the world of consumption.

The world waits for me to consume. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Thanks Amazon.com.

Distraction says, “Lets go shopping you will feel so much better.”

I have a masters degree in buying my way out of my pain while at the same time creating no new art and feeling more mediocre every day- Starbucks, Ben and Jerry a new house, new car, new tie, new shirt, new suite more shoes.

Oh, how about a new relationship? Thanks Match.com, the ultimate distraction for an OCD relationship addict. Match.com kills many artist dreams with every wink.

These distractions will continue until I am sick and tired of being sick and tired … and insist that is now time to beat resistance and create my masterpiece.

Love it or hate it my art will be birthed!

In fact, the only way I can experience this true bliss that resides within is to master self.

I must create the internal structure within me to say goodbye to those beautiful distractions.

I must say goodbye to all the stuff that says my gifts will die within me.

I want my work to live.

I want my work to be fresh, to be real, to be alive first within me then birthed to the word.

Solitude Is My Place To Create My Art!

Solitude is the price for greatness – Parmahansa Yoganadana

Solitude.

It means I become a full-time writer/producer who meets resistance head on and wins the battle with love and ease and the fight to win my creative soul back.

It means you become a full-time consultant, negotiator and the person who oversees all the transactional detail. It means you block out all distractions from your life that are not the big three.

Socrates On Personal Mastery

The paradox seems to be, as Socrates demonstrated long ago, that the truly free individual is free only to the extent of his own self-mastery. Those who will not govern themselves are condemned to masters to govern them.

Resistance is strongest when you get to where the finish line is in sight.

Get rid of trouble in your life so you can do your work- write- create- manifest.

5 Great Questions?

Click, Listen and Learn

What would it feel like to be a mature consultant?

When a referral opportunity appears, whatever happens next determines the maturity level of a consultant.

I've heard it said, "A typical underdeveloped, untrained immature salesperson has no gap between the opportunity and decision."

What the heck does that mean?

Here is a great example:

Client says, “I have a friend who is thinking about selling his home.” That is the opportunity.
The typical underdeveloped, untrained immature salesperson says, “ I can help him, what his name?”
That have already made a decision that they can help the person.

What does the mature By Referral Only consultant do differently?

The mature referable consultant has mastered using questions in-between the opportunity and decision.

Many of our graduates have said," I became aware of my maturity level when I was at the Main Event, because I learned how to ask more profound and insightful the questions in the referral moment."

Notice, in the next example, the mature consultant asks questions to determine what level of commitment they can make to the referring party.

*****
Magic Words That Get Referrals

For example:
Client says, “I have a friend who is thinking about selling his home.”
The opportunity.

The mature referable consultant says, “I don’t know if I can help your friend, but if I can ask you a few questions about your friend, I can listen to your answers, and if I am not the right consultant to serve them I will let you know. If I can help him, we can explore different ways to get the two of us into a conversation.”

Now the referable consultant has a series of questions.

The answers determine the decision he will make about serving the referred person.

Five Sample Questions

1.    Would you recommend my services to your friend?

2.    What would you say to him about me?

3.    What is the nature of your relationship?

4.    Has your friend asked you to refer him to me, and how would they feel if they knew you were giving me their name?

5.    The easy part is telling me about you friend; the hard part is getting the two of us into a conversation – If you were me, what do you think the best approach would be to make sure your friend and I have a conversation?

*****

What would it be like to have the skills of a mature consultant?

You just learned five great questions that each answer leads to the next question.

As you listen actively, you will have what I call is a "referral conversation."

As you now become aware of this new skill you know during a referral conversation you determine what level of commitment you can make to following up with this referred lead.

Because reading this a few times will make this skill unconscious then the next time a person says, “I have a friend thinking about refinancing, selling or buying,” choose the path of the mature referable consultant and ask the great questions before you commit.

Go For It

Get Rid of The Limiting Beliefs

Click, Listen and Learn

Beliefs are birthed.

Your actions are based on your emotion,
Your emotions come from your thoughts,
And your thoughts are birthed from your beliefs.

The Wounded Belief Will Not Heal Until We Treat It.

Discovering and correcting limiting core beliefs about asking for referrals and receiving referrals is absolutely essential if we want to manifest our desires on a permanent basis.

If we set our intention to build a By Referral Only business while harboring a core belief that insists it's impossible, the results we create will be, at best, temporary.

Simply repeating a positive affirmation such as, "I am referable" without first eliminating the underlying, negative core belief that you’re not good enough and others will not refer you, is akin to slapping a Band-Aid on a festering wound.

The wound will not heal until we treat it.

The Only Thing That Matters
It does not matter how you picked up these limiting beliefs. The only thing that matters is that you recognize that the negative emotion is pointing them out to you.

Negative emotion is saying to you: You’re holding a belief that is thwarting your light from shining.

What is a limiting belief?

Many deeply held beliefs we have about ourselves and our personal referability is simply not true.
Do you know that the only thing that can ever hold you back is your own limiting beliefs? Now, what is a limiting belief? A limiting belief is a belief that contradicts your desire.

That is why I have created the Belief-O-Matic.

This is a simple eight-step process used in NLP to bring a deeper awareness to the when, where and how you established your core belief.

Once you uncover the root of the belief, you can then discard it.

This is always one of the most dynamic sessions at the Main Event.

Here is a coaching dialogue transcribed from a live event.

Stan is a real estate consultant who truly desires to build a By Referral Only business and he has this reoccurring negative thought that says, “getting referrals is far too difficult to do and running ads and cold calling is easier”.

He loves to work with referred people and his current strategy to get referrals is to wait until they come to him.

This is very reactive, not proactive.

So, Stan asked me to help him remove this belief he had about how difficult it is to get referrals.

The Belief-O-Matic In Action

Stan picked the statement “Asking for referrals is difficult,” as the core belief to change.

He gave me permission to coach him through the Belief-O-Matic Process. Look what happened – pay attention – you only change when you pay attention.

Stan: Asking for Referral is difficult.

Joe:  How long have you had this thought?

Stan: Forever. I am very uncomfortable asking for what I want.

Joe: Do you have a reason that benefits you to hang on to that belief?

Stan: No, I don’t want it.

Joe: How do you know you don’t want to believe that asking for referrals is difficult?

Stan: Because it is difficult, I don’t ask, and I don’t get any.

Joe: In regards to being difficult, have you ever felt like things have been difficult for you?

Joe: Stan would you repeat that belief, 3 times…

Stan: My whole life has been difficult. My whole life has been difficult. My whole life has been difficult.

Joe: Can you remember your earliest memory of things being difficult?

Stan: When I was in high school.

Joe: Can you describe a very specific situation where you experience this difficulty?

Stan: Yes, at school in the swimming class. My coach made me swim and it was very difficult for me to do.

Joe: Can you think of an earlier incident in which life was difficult?

Stan: Yes, when I was 7 years old I broke my glasses. (Stan pauses, his eyes well up, this means we are getting to the root to the belief.)

Joe: Describe the exact situation you’re in, with complete detail, as if you are in it.

Stan: I am walking home from school, looking down at my glasses and they are broken. I am very upset because I know that when I get home, I am going to get in big trouble. My dad is so hard on me.

Joe: What is little 7- year-old Stan feeling as he walks home with the broken glasses?

Stan: I can’t do anything right.

Joe: Say that again.

Stan: I can’t do anything right. It’s just too hard for me.

Joe: Stan, now stop that picture, freeze-frame it. Now imagine that Big Stan is in the picture. That is you today. What would Big Stan say to Little Stan, who is walking home from school with broken glasses?

Stan: He would say it was no big deal.

Joe: Can you hold little Stan in your arms right now and simply say, Little Stan you’re safe; it’s no big deal.

Stan: Yes. It’s no big deal little Stan; it really doesn’t matter.

Joe: Now, can you tell Little Stan that you love him and you will always be there for him?

Stan: (Eyes swell up a little tear falls to his cheek. This means the new belief has been installed.) Yes. Little Stan, I love you and I will always take care of you.

Joe: Stan, open your eyes. Fill in the blank. Asking for referrals is _________.

Stan: (With passion and conviction) Is no big deal.

Stan wrote me a note after the training.

Dear Joe,

On a purely personal level today, I am back in touch with the realization that I don’t have to live my life out of the choices and decisions I made as a child.

I am free to choose right now and in every moment to live and act from who I am now to create the person I intend to become.

Here Are The 8 Steps That Stan Went Through – I Call It Belief-O-Matic

Step1. Select a single statement that represents your negative belief about asking for referrals. Stan selected’ “asking for referrals is difficult.”

Step 2. Make sure you want to change your belief. When you are working with a coach, guide or friend to help you make changes in your belief, make certain that you give your guide permission to change your belief. This step is called Desire.

Stan confirmed that he wanted to get rid of the belief that asking for referrals is difficult.

Step 3. Say your current belief out loud with passion. Take complete ownership of your belief. Stan says three times, “ Asking for referrals in hard.”  He says it 3 times with great passion.

This step is called Ownership.

Stan affirms, “My whole life has been difficult.”

Step 4. What is the earliest memory of difficult?

You most look deeply into your memory. If you say “I can’t remember anything,”  it means that you are choosing not to remember anything.

Remember, reunite and reconnect with you. The memory that is most painful is the one you choose not to look at or re-experience. This is the part of the process that will set you free.

Close your eyes and look deep. Keep saying the Ownership Statement out loud and discover the memory that is the earliest experience of this statement.

You might remember something from high school.

If you have a specific example before the age of 10 – you might want to look again. Can you remember anything before the age of 7 that reminds you of difficult? Stan shared a high school memory and I helped him look to an earlier time.

Most of the time your beliefs come from early childhood from birth to 5 years old.  Once you have discovered the origin of the belief – go to-

Step 5.
This step is called Discover.
Stan remembers his experience with his broken glasses.

Once you have the picture in mind, completely embrace the scene.
Be in the scene.

Relive the scene.

Completely associate with the situation – this is a memory not a reality. Byron Katie says you may have been beaten as a child once, but in your memory you beat your self up everyday by not dealing with this once and for all.

This is the step many people in our culture choose to cover up with a pharmaceutical solution. Speak it out loud and say exactly what is happening. Speak it in the first person like it is happening to you right now.

Completely feel the emotional charge associated with it. This step can take time to fully process – feel it – embrace it.

Stan embraces his story. I am walking home from school, looking down at my glasses and they are broken. I am very upset because I know that when I get home I am going to get in big trouble. My dad is so hard on me.

Step 6. Once you have fully emotionalized in step 5 – or another way of saying it is you are done crying – now dissociate from the scene.

Create a still picture of the situation in your mind. Disassociate from the situation.

Simply stand outside the picture and witness the scene. The step is called Witnessing.

Stan freeze-frames the picture and steps outside it.

Step 7. As you are witnessing – access love.

Find something in the situation that you can love. Surround the picture with your love. Love the situation.

Love the picture. You don’t have to love the people. Just love the situation. If you choose, you can love the people. The secret to releasing the old belief is to release the energy that is stored in the memory. This memory is controlling you life.

Choose to live from your imagination, not from a childhood memory that you didn’t even choose.

The path to freedom is filled with love. Love heals all. This step is called Acceptance.

Big Stan picks up little Stan and says, “ It’s no big deal.”

Step 8. Re-Create a new belief.

Stan says that asking for referrals is no big deal.

The Belief-O- Matic
1. Awareness -
2. Desire
3. Ownership
4. Discover
5. Embrace
6. Witness
7. Accept
8. Re-Create

Referability

Click, Listen and Learn

You hear me use the word referability quite a bit. Let me define it for you.

Referability is the awareness that you feel when you are giving so much value to your client, that they unconsciously want to send people they care about to you because they deeply respect you.

Referability is not always what you say; it’s more who you are and what you do.

Referability is the silent power of care and respect.

Referrability is letting your actions and attitude do your talking.

Referability is making yourself so valuable, so powerful, so congruent, so clear, and so aware that people around you experience an amplified desire to share the feeling they are getting from you with the people they care about.

What Is Your Awareness About Your Referability?

Do you have enough awareness to know when you are being referable and when you are not being referable?

Do you have enough consciousness to know when you are thinking like and behaving like a person who radiates with referability and when you are not?

Your referability resides inside your consciousness.

Your consciousness is your concept of yourself.

You create your self-concept through the arrangement of your thoughts.

Your thoughts are always arranged in the image of all you believe and consent to be true.

You are a manifestation of every combination of thoughts you have ever had.

Everything that happens to you, everything you do to yourself and others and everything that is currently present in your life right now has happened as a result of your state of consciousness.

Your consciousness is all that you think and desire and love, all that you believe is true and consent to.

That is why a change to a referability consciousness is necessary before you can actually start to consistently receive high quality referrals.

You must develop a referability consciousness.

You do that by saturating yourself in all the knowledge, insight and wisdom you can find on the subject of referrals.

That is why I have spent the last 25 years of my life reading, researching, interviewing and thinking about the subject of referrals.

Some of the most successful agents and lenders in North America are students of By Referral Only.

Many of the national trainers and coaches within the real estate and mortgage industry are students of the By Referral Only teachings.

So you have found the right place to learn and master the subject of referrals. Come back daily for your dose of referral reality.

Don't keep me a secret - pass it on!

GO FOR IT!

Focus On Finding Meaningful Information

Click, Listen and Learn

You like me, want your conversations with the people who are referred to you to be meaningful, valuable, significant, and compelling. If that is the case, then you must do your homework prior to contacting your referred prospect.

Here are four suggested questions to ask your referring person about the referred person.

Give them a try. What I have experienced is that once I have the answers to the four FORD questions, then it is much easier to initiate a meaningful conversation with the referred prospect.

You be the judge.

*****

Magic Words That Get Referrals

“Thank you for referring Dean to me. I don’t know if I can help him.

Only after I talk with him will I know.

May I ask you a few questions about so when I do talk to him I won’t feel like a stranger?”
 
F    What can you tell me about Dean and his family?
O    What information can you share with me about his occupation?
R    What does Dean do for recreation?
D    Do you know anything about Dean’s dream or aspiration?

*****

When you know the answers to questions like this, it is so much easier to call Dean and build rapport and trust quicker.

For example, this is how I would call Dean if Patty referred him to me.

*****
Magic Words That Get Referrals

RING…RING

“Hello?”

“Dean?” (pause)

“Yes?”

“Joe Stumpf.” (pause)

“Yes?”

“We have a mutual friend, Patty Miller. Is this a good time to talk?”

“Yes, I know Patty well.”

“Dean, we were talking about you yesterday and she suggested I give you a quick call.”

“Yes.”

“Patty, told me you enjoy golf and that you and your wife, Sonja, live at Valley Country Club.”

“That’s right.”

“She’s big fan of yours – and all the consulting work you do for website clients.”

“Yes.”

“Dean, I am Patty’s mortgage consultant and she thought it would be a good idea to call you introduce myself and see if we have a reason to get together.”

“I don’t know if I can help you, but if I can ask you a few questions, then I can listen to your answers and if I am not the right person to help, then you I can let you know right away.”

“I have an opening in my schedule tomorrow at 1 p.m. or next Wednesday at 3 p.m.”

*****

This is such a key concept in securing referral business.

Please, study this.

The vital thing is that you don't “wing it.”

You need to have a very intentional approach.

It is always best to script it. With a script you sound more prepared and confident.

Be clear about who you are and why you're calling.

An important phrase I used above is, “We have a mutual friend Patty Miller. Is this a good time to talk?”

Scripting referral conversations is something that we spend a great deal of time on at our Main Event training on day three.

If you haven’t been to the NEW Main Event click here and check it out.

GO FOR IT!

What Would it Feel Like To Own A Yellow 355 Spider Ferrari?

Last week my friends, Todd and Pam Welsh, visited me at my home in Cardiff.
One morning we walked by the Cardiff Exotic sports car dealership.

As we were walking by, a Yellow 355 Spider Ferrari got my attention. It has just 15,000 miles on it and is in mint condition.

They are asking $97,000!

That was last week. I have driven by the dealership a half a dozen times, always slowing down to see if the Yellow Spider is still there. I’m just noticing how I’m processing this experience. So I wrote this morning:

What is important about owning a Yellow 355 Ferrari, to me?

1.    It’s a symbol of achievement.
2.    I send a message to myself that I can achieve anything.
3.    I can model to others that anything is possible.
4.    I like when others are inspired by my achievement.
5.    I get inspired when others get inspired.
6.    I love experiencing a new experience.
7.    It keeps me growing and challenging myself.

Now I’m looking at my answers.

It’s very revealing to me how I feel. What I’m noticing is that owning a 355 Yellow Ferrari is a feeling I want.

Then I asked myself, what feeling am I really wanting?

I currently own a 1997 933 Carrera Porsche and a  2005 Cayenne Porsche Turbo and the feeling I get from my two Porsches is everything I need, but is it everything I want?

Is the 355 Ferrari a want, because it's not a need?!

If that is the case, what is it I really want from owning a Yellow Ferrari?

Is it happiness?

I also know happiness is incremental.

Meaning, my first Porsche in 1989 brought me massive happiness, my second Porsche brought me slightly more happiness, and my third Porsche just a little bit more happiness.

I am wondering, do you think I‘m thinking the Ferrari 355 will bring me happiness?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a happy guy. I was just noticing how I’m processing this decision and I want you to notice that when someone is buying a new home, they process a decision very much the same way.

Do we buy non-essentials for incremental happiness?

I just thought of something. Is it possible the Ferrari is my way of secretly expressing my desire to be desired? (Although a Yellow Ferrari is not so secretive!)

Do you ever feel the desire to be desired? I imagine only if you're human, would you have ever had a desire to be desired. Don't most Country Westerns songs have some theme like that?

If that is the case, my prayer is, "God, please remove my desire to be desired."

I may NEED to pray that prayer several times.

I’ll keep you posted on my choice. If you want/need/desire to share your thoughts, feel free to!

Inspired By Adding Value To Your Life,

Joe