Several years ago, a coach and friend Richard, asked me to try this. It really worked well for me. After I did exactly what he told me to do, I felt much more confidant and more self-assured.
As a matter of fact, I liked how I felt so much I thought, I’m going to write a blog about this and see if you want to try it.
Here is what Richard asked me to do.
First, he asked me to remember the last prospect that rejected me.
I had to think pretty hard about that!
He said to me, “Joe, if you can’t remember being rejected, it might mean that you’re not prospecting enough!”
I chuckled…
I thought, “Gee, I wonder if that is possible? Then, I thought every time I do a Main Event, I’m prospecting for new coaching club members.”
Is your head nodding up and down right now?
Richard asked to specifically remember a time when a person said ‘no’ to my offer of joining the coaching program.
Then I remembered a woman who came up to me at a Main Event and said, “I really do not think your program is good for me and I have decided not to join.”
The more I think about it now, the clearer the memory becomes.
I mean, right now I can close my eyes and get a very clear image of her. I can hear her voice. I can feel her energy as I fully recall this actual memory.
Go ahead and try it.
Remember a person who decided to list their home with another agent.
Remember a person who told you that they were going to get a loan from a different lender.
As you recall these past memories, just notice what happens to your attitude.
Notice what you see when you remember a negative experience.
Notice what happens when you close your eyes and dwell on this memory of rejection.
Does the picture of the moment get brighter? Does it get louder, and do you feel the pain of rejection more intensely?
Go ahead and dwell on the moment you got rejected.
Replay the picture over and over again.
What I have noticed as I replayed the picture of the woman walking up to me and telling me she was not going to join, was that I was reliving the experience over and over.
So, in fact, she only rejected me once, but then I had her do it at least a dozen more times to make sure that I really felt bad.
Try it.
Keep replaying your rejection over and over.
If you’re like me, you are starting to notice how exhausted you’re getting holding this negative memory.
Richard said to me, “Joe, what you are experiencing right now, is what most people are doing every day; they are living out of their memory.”
As a result, they continue to get more of what they don’t want, because they are automatically replaying old memories, like the repeat button on the stereo is stuck, playing the same song over and over and over!
Can you relate to this at all?
Then Richard said to try this.
Would you like to try this with me? I think you’ll feel much better when we’re done – go ahead, give it a try with me.
Richard asked me to take the image of the woman rejecting me and place her on a record disc in my mind.
He said, “Like one of those old vinyl records, place the image of the woman walking up to you and saying she is not going to join on the front of the record.” It took me a few minutes, but I focused long enough to create a picture in my mind of her walking up to me and rejecting me as if it was the record label.
See if you can do it for your rejection memory.
Then he said, “Now, start to spin the album clockwise, slowly at first, so you can actually see the woman spinning around in your head.”
So I did, and then he said, “Speed it up now.”
So I did.
Faster and faster.
Then Richard yelled, “Stop! Now reverse the spinning motion counter clockwise.”
So I did.
Faster and faster, I spun the image counter clockwise.
Then he said, “Reverse it.”
Go clockwise again.
Then he said, “Stop. Go counter clockwise, again.”
So I did.
Then he said, “Now release the image into the air and imagine you’re skeet shooting and you have a rifle in your hands. As the record flies out into the air, it becomes your target and you take aim and shoot and the image blows into pieces and falls to the ground.”
So I did.
It was amazing -- the memory shattered instantly.
Then Richard said one of the most profound things I have ever heard, he said, “Joe, from this day forward let’s live out of our imagination, not our memory.”
He instructed me to imagine the same woman walking up to me and spinning around on a record and she is spinning as she is talking to me. I begin to laugh and she blows up.
What Richard was doing was giving me a tool to rewire my neuro network with a pattern interrupt.
He was giving me a tool to take control of my automated memory and rewire the memory so it had little or no effect on my current reality.
I must say this one tool has helped me immensely in my life.
Today, when I have an experience that I want to remove from memory, I spin, release and blow it up.
The results have been more confidence and more self-assurance, and today I live out of the unlimited possibilities of my imagination vs. the old, patterned, limited memory of the past.
Give it try.
