Joe's Journal

A Message From Jan

Good Morning,

My friend Jan Cotten has an important message for you, please listen.

Click Here: What You Need To Know Now To Make Money in This Market Place

Have a great day.

Joe

P.S. Find out more about what Jan is talking about! Click here.

Magic Words Language Pattern #2

I’m not going to tell you that your buyers, sellers and borrowers feel fear from time to time, because you already know that, but I will suggest that you better learn to ask profound, insightful questions that help them get out of their fear.

After all, that is what a skilled consultant would do!

Now, imagine what it would feel like to have two powerful questions in your arsenal of Magic Words that you could ask anytime you sense your client is in fear.

Imagine having two questions that instantly get your client to change their perspective from one of limited options to unlimited opportunity; fear to fearless!

I first learned these questions from my friend and mentor Brian Tracy.

Here is my story.

Back in 1985, I was promoting seminars for Brian Tracy. After a few years of working for Brian, I decided that I wanted to be the speaker more than I wanted to be the promoter.

I had to tell Brian what I was planning.

Because I admire and love Brian, I wanted his advice and his blessing.

I called Brian and asked him if he would give me some much-needed advice.
We met in the backyard of his mansion in Solana Beach.

I told Brian that I was ready to move on from being a promoter to being a speaker/trainer like him. He smiled and said, “Well, what is stopping you from doing what you dream of doing?”

I said, “Fear!”

Brian asked me this very profound question. He asked, “Joe, what would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

The question put me into a trance.

I stalled for a minute and he asked me the question again in a different way. Brian said,     “What would you do if it was OK if you fail?”

It was these two questions that opened up my mind to possibilities. For the next hour, I described to Brian that my intention was to teach real estate and mortgage lenders how to build referral business.

Brian smiled after listening vigilantly to me for over an hour and said, “Joe, go for it. I totally support and encourage you to live your dream.”

As I reflect back on that critical moment, it was these two questions Brian asked me that gave me freedom to dream bigger then ever before.

Sometimes all we need is someone permission to dream big!

1. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

2. What would you do if it was OK to fail?

I now give you permission to ask your clients the same question when they are in fear or confused about what to do next.

22,000 Pages Viewed as of Today

The day that I conceptualized joesjournal.com, my intention was to have a creative outlet for all good stuff that I am thinking.

My thought was, if I could share my insight, wisdom and passion for building a referral business, that there must be a person who would benefit from my gifts.

I'm humbled at the remarkable reception of joesjournal.com

In 90 days, over 22,000 pages have been viewed.

My intention remains the same -- each day, share with you from my heart, my gifts.

What I want for you is more freedom, more prosperity, greater health and a deeper spiritual awareness.

I believe that I can give you the critical knowledge, the proven strategies, and powerful techniques to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

So, thank you for referring joesjournal.com to the people in your life that you really care about.

The Best Is Yet To Come,

Joe Stumpf

Expect Referrals Script

Click, Listen and Learn

I was looking through some of my old journals last night. I found this gem from September, 1993.

It was an entry I made right after I met Jay Abraham. Jay introduced me to an Australian dentist named Paddy Lund.

Someday, I will tell you the Jay Abraham story and the full Paddy Lund story. For now, I want you to benefit from this great referral dialogue.

Paddy told us how he grew his dental practice to be one of the largest in his country with a simple shift in attitude.

His shift was one of hoping people would provide referrals, to making it an expectation that his patients would refer someone to him.

Here is a referral dialogue I found in my journal dated 09/12/93.

*****

Magic Words That Get Referrals

Mr. and Mrs. Client, my purpose is for you to be so outrageously happy with the level of service I provide you, that you will gladly refer two people to me before your transaction is closed.

--or--

I know you are going to be so thrilled with how we will serve you, that part of your responsibility in this relationship is for you refer at least 2 people to me who would like to do exactly what you’re doing.

*****
Do you have the courage to speak into existence your desire?

I have taught this dialogue to thousands of agents and lenders.

Now, you be the judge.

Go For It!

Lunch With Brian Tracy

Click, Listen and Learn

I met Brian in 1985 when I was a promoting personal development seminars. I had the honor of hosting some of Brians first seminars in the United States. Over time we became freinds and because of his positive impact on my life we named my first daughter Traci.      

Recently we caught up at lunch. We compared career paths. I choose the path of building a coaching company and Brian choose the path of speaker and author.

Today I have one of the largest coaching companies in North America and Brian is the most read authors on the subject of personal and professional development.

Brian is the most focused determined individual I know. His capacity to create new thoughts is astonishing. He writes a book every 90 days. Imagine that! Every time I get together with Brian I get inspired and realize how much more I can get from myself to give to others.

This is the personal development program that turned my life around. If you are really serious about making lasting change in your life what Brian teaches in the Psychology of Achievement is timeless.
I listened to the program once a year to boost my selfestem, build a stronger positive self concept and develop my unshakable self-confidence. Brian taught me how to think like a successful person before I was successful. I learned that putting affirmations and visualizations to work, I will create whatever my mind desires.
If your ready to set super specific goals for your life listen to this course.

The War of Art - Author Interview

Click, Listen and Learn

As you now know, I journal while I read because my intention is to capture my thoughts like prisoners on paper how what I am reading relates to what I am teaching you.

As you continue to read joesjournal daily, you might become aware of the fact that when I find a book that has great application to your business I record a 20 minute interview with the author.

Because you want to learn directly from the author I post the interview here at joesjournal.com for you to enjoy.

This book the War of Art is just terrific.

Click, Listen and Learn ... to the interview

Check Out My Actual Notes From Joes Journal On "The Art of War" by Steven Pressfield.

My work is My Art. My business is my gallery.

I do my work for the art. I run my business for the commerce of it. As an artist, I express myself with my art. As a businessman, I run a successful gallery.

My work is my form of self-expression. Like Sting, I express myself in my writing and speaking.

My writing is my art. My speaking is my art.My area of artist expression is building referral-based real estate and mortgage businesses.

My art is different than my gallery. Sting’s gallery is his recording company. The recording company is all about commerce.

My gallery is where I hang my work and sell my work. My gallery is all about commerce.

By Referral Only is a place you will find a lot of my art displayed. Joe’s Journal is also my gallery.

What could you create if you treated your consulting, negotiating and overseeing the transaction as your art work?

Can you see your business as your gallery ?

What does it feel like to think of your business as the place you hang your art?

Imagine your real estate or mortgage business your place where you create your art?

What I Do Is Work With Artists.

I teach. I guide. I assist real estate and mortgage professionals who have developed a desire to make their work – their art.

I coach and lead and model for those agents who see themselves as the Leonardo De Vinci of Loans or the Picasso of Real Estate?

What Would It Be Like For You To Think of Your Work As Your Art?

I’m a speaker, trainer, writer and publisher. I consider everything I create as art and joejournal.com and By Referral Only are my galleries.

My Profession Is Creating Referral Art.

I am a professional artist creating insight, awareness, knowledge, and wisdom that enhances, improves, and inspires others to be more referable. I love the depth of my art. 
I love the multiple facets of who I must be and what I must do daily to become a referable speaker, coach, writer and publisher.

The Artist’s Intentions.

My intention is to be so diligent, so focused, and so disciplined as a writer, researcher, student and teacher in the art of referrals that you, yes you, want to share my insight, wisdom and love with the people who are closest you.

Imagine you embrace the thought that each day you discipline your self to be the best consultant, negotiator, transactional detail person so that everyone who experiences you performing your art wants to tell everyone they know about your magnificence?

Everyday I get clearer on what it means to be a referral artist.

It takes a big intention to self appoint yourself as the Referral Artist. I love my big wonderful intention. How big is your intention?

What would it be like to have an intention so big that nothing else gets your attention?

Right now notice I notice that when I am lacking clarity on my intentions, everything gets my attention. How about you?

I know that with my desire to serve others and my discipline to allow my muse to work through me, my work will flow into the hearts of millions through you.

What I want for you is to make your work a piece of art.

What I want for you is what I want for myself.

I consider Mastering the Art of Getting Referrals as the most important discipline to attain if I choose to live a rich, full and happy life.

I believe the same is true for you.

I now know why I procrastinate, hesitate, isolate and simply don’t take action on my goals and dreams!

I now know.

What would it be like to never procrastinate again?

Imagine you take action instantly on all your dreams and aspirations! What would your life look like today if you had the energy and determination to finish everything you stated?

What would it feel like to never hesitate again?

Do you know the truth about resistance?

Even though creating my dreams and producing results in my life are my passions in my life, I get stalled. I meet resistance.

The minute I open my eyes in the morning and bring into focus my vision, resistance is present to bring me back to my current reality.

Resistance is a compelling force. Resistance seems to come from outside me but the truth is that it’s from within.

Pat Riley calls it the Peripheral Enemy.

All resistance knows how to do is invent new ways to take you off your vision and bring you into the emotions of your current reality.

It will never stop.

It is always there.

Resistance is a force of nature- DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

Notice, the more important the goal, the more resistance we feel.

What is the single most important thing you accomplish in your lifetime? That is where you will feel the most resistance. Resistance is a battle you fight daily.

The goal of resistance is to kill you and kill your spirit, to boil you alive.

We feed our resistance with fear – take the fear of resistance away and you choke it off from its source of energy.

The goal of resistance is to kill your confidence while at the same time ejecting you with a healthy dose of fear.

Fear is what keeps the resistance alive.

Resistance is the enemy. The enemy is a very good teacher – The Dali Lama

When does resistance get in your way of creating your art?

In the morning.
In the afternoon.
In the evening.

It’s seems to me that resistance is like some invisible force that does not want me to discover the fullness of my self.

This force wants me to believe that I am better off being mediocre.  It wants me to believe that I have lots of untapped potential.

Do you know this force? It’s the force that doesn't’t want you to call your past clients today because you can do it tomorrow.

Tomorrow never comes!

It is the force that does not ’t want to ask for referrals in the referral moment.
It wills you to ask later when you feel more confident.

The confidence never comes!

It’s the force that does not’t want you to study, prepare and practice your referral duologue's.

It’s the force that says it’s okay to wing it.

If you do, you will perform with mediocre results and you will promise you to practice next time.

Next time never comes!

You can tell the level of hollowness you feel after-wards.

The more empty you feel, the more certain you can be that your true motivation was not love but resistance.

Procrastination is the most common manifestation of resistance.

I am going to write a book and I will start tomorrow and I never get started.

Procrastination becomes a habit.

It’s the force that wants you to live a very plain life – certainly not the life of an artist.

The only way to create your best art is to crack the code on resistance.

Here is the combination to cracking THE CODE on resistance.

Invite resistance in.

I invite resistance into my life now – no more resisting resistance.

Whatever you resist persist.

My art must manifest. To embrace my art, I must take on the challenge of resistance. My art depends on me mastering resistance.

Resistance. It is a worthy opponent and I am fit for the battle.

You are ready to win this war. The War of Art.

Resistance has many faces - my favorite is distraction.

Simple distractions like people, email, phone, Internet, UPS, and the refrigerator are my favorites.

The more subtle and more cunning distractions are drama, relationship, money, no money and food.

The media, TV, magazines, and radio promise me true bliss through the world of consumption.

The world waits for me to consume. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Thanks Amazon.com.

Distraction says, “Lets go shopping you will feel so much better.”

I have a masters degree in buying my way out of my pain while at the same time creating no new art and feeling more mediocre every day- Starbucks, Ben and Jerry a new house, new car, new tie, new shirt, new suite more shoes.

Oh, how about a new relationship? Thanks Match.com, the ultimate distraction for an OCD relationship addict. Match.com kills many artist dreams with every wink.

These distractions will continue until I am sick and tired of being sick and tired … and insist that is now time to beat resistance and create my masterpiece.

Love it or hate it my art will be birthed!

In fact, the only way I can experience this true bliss that resides within is to master self.

I must create the internal structure within me to say goodbye to those beautiful distractions.

I must say goodbye to all the stuff that says my gifts will die within me.

I want my work to live.

I want my work to be fresh, to be real, to be alive first within me then birthed to the word.

Solitude Is My Place To Create My Art!

Solitude is the price for greatness – Parmahansa Yoganadana

Solitude.

It means I become a full-time writer/producer who meets resistance head on and wins the battle with love and ease and the fight to win my creative soul back.

It means you become a full-time consultant, negotiator and the person who oversees all the transactional detail. It means you block out all distractions from your life that are not the big three.

Socrates On Personal Mastery

The paradox seems to be, as Socrates demonstrated long ago, that the truly free individual is free only to the extent of his own self-mastery. Those who will not govern themselves are condemned to masters to govern them.

Resistance is strongest when you get to where the finish line is in sight.

Get rid of trouble in your life so you can do your work- write- create- manifest.

5 Great Questions?

Click, Listen and Learn

What would it feel like to be a mature consultant?

When a referral opportunity appears, whatever happens next determines the maturity level of a consultant.

I've heard it said, "A typical underdeveloped, untrained immature salesperson has no gap between the opportunity and decision."

What the heck does that mean?

Here is a great example:

Client says, “I have a friend who is thinking about selling his home.” That is the opportunity.
The typical underdeveloped, untrained immature salesperson says, “ I can help him, what his name?”
That have already made a decision that they can help the person.

What does the mature By Referral Only consultant do differently?

The mature referable consultant has mastered using questions in-between the opportunity and decision.

Many of our graduates have said," I became aware of my maturity level when I was at the Main Event, because I learned how to ask more profound and insightful the questions in the referral moment."

Notice, in the next example, the mature consultant asks questions to determine what level of commitment they can make to the referring party.

*****
Magic Words That Get Referrals

For example:
Client says, “I have a friend who is thinking about selling his home.”
The opportunity.

The mature referable consultant says, “I don’t know if I can help your friend, but if I can ask you a few questions about your friend, I can listen to your answers, and if I am not the right consultant to serve them I will let you know. If I can help him, we can explore different ways to get the two of us into a conversation.”

Now the referable consultant has a series of questions.

The answers determine the decision he will make about serving the referred person.

Five Sample Questions

1.    Would you recommend my services to your friend?

2.    What would you say to him about me?

3.    What is the nature of your relationship?

4.    Has your friend asked you to refer him to me, and how would they feel if they knew you were giving me their name?

5.    The easy part is telling me about you friend; the hard part is getting the two of us into a conversation – If you were me, what do you think the best approach would be to make sure your friend and I have a conversation?

*****

What would it be like to have the skills of a mature consultant?

You just learned five great questions that each answer leads to the next question.

As you listen actively, you will have what I call is a "referral conversation."

As you now become aware of this new skill you know during a referral conversation you determine what level of commitment you can make to following up with this referred lead.

Because reading this a few times will make this skill unconscious then the next time a person says, “I have a friend thinking about refinancing, selling or buying,” choose the path of the mature referable consultant and ask the great questions before you commit.

Go For It

Get Rid of The Limiting Beliefs

Click, Listen and Learn

Beliefs are birthed.

Your actions are based on your emotion,
Your emotions come from your thoughts,
And your thoughts are birthed from your beliefs.

The Wounded Belief Will Not Heal Until We Treat It.

Discovering and correcting limiting core beliefs about asking for referrals and receiving referrals is absolutely essential if we want to manifest our desires on a permanent basis.

If we set our intention to build a By Referral Only business while harboring a core belief that insists it's impossible, the results we create will be, at best, temporary.

Simply repeating a positive affirmation such as, "I am referable" without first eliminating the underlying, negative core belief that you’re not good enough and others will not refer you, is akin to slapping a Band-Aid on a festering wound.

The wound will not heal until we treat it.

The Only Thing That Matters
It does not matter how you picked up these limiting beliefs. The only thing that matters is that you recognize that the negative emotion is pointing them out to you.

Negative emotion is saying to you: You’re holding a belief that is thwarting your light from shining.

What is a limiting belief?

Many deeply held beliefs we have about ourselves and our personal referability is simply not true.
Do you know that the only thing that can ever hold you back is your own limiting beliefs? Now, what is a limiting belief? A limiting belief is a belief that contradicts your desire.

That is why I have created the Belief-O-Matic.

This is a simple eight-step process used in NLP to bring a deeper awareness to the when, where and how you established your core belief.

Once you uncover the root of the belief, you can then discard it.

This is always one of the most dynamic sessions at the Main Event.

Here is a coaching dialogue transcribed from a live event.

Stan is a real estate consultant who truly desires to build a By Referral Only business and he has this reoccurring negative thought that says, “getting referrals is far too difficult to do and running ads and cold calling is easier”.

He loves to work with referred people and his current strategy to get referrals is to wait until they come to him.

This is very reactive, not proactive.

So, Stan asked me to help him remove this belief he had about how difficult it is to get referrals.

The Belief-O-Matic In Action

Stan picked the statement “Asking for referrals is difficult,” as the core belief to change.

He gave me permission to coach him through the Belief-O-Matic Process. Look what happened – pay attention – you only change when you pay attention.

Stan: Asking for Referral is difficult.

Joe:  How long have you had this thought?

Stan: Forever. I am very uncomfortable asking for what I want.

Joe: Do you have a reason that benefits you to hang on to that belief?

Stan: No, I don’t want it.

Joe: How do you know you don’t want to believe that asking for referrals is difficult?

Stan: Because it is difficult, I don’t ask, and I don’t get any.

Joe: In regards to being difficult, have you ever felt like things have been difficult for you?

Joe: Stan would you repeat that belief, 3 times…

Stan: My whole life has been difficult. My whole life has been difficult. My whole life has been difficult.

Joe: Can you remember your earliest memory of things being difficult?

Stan: When I was in high school.

Joe: Can you describe a very specific situation where you experience this difficulty?

Stan: Yes, at school in the swimming class. My coach made me swim and it was very difficult for me to do.

Joe: Can you think of an earlier incident in which life was difficult?

Stan: Yes, when I was 7 years old I broke my glasses. (Stan pauses, his eyes well up, this means we are getting to the root to the belief.)

Joe: Describe the exact situation you’re in, with complete detail, as if you are in it.

Stan: I am walking home from school, looking down at my glasses and they are broken. I am very upset because I know that when I get home, I am going to get in big trouble. My dad is so hard on me.

Joe: What is little 7- year-old Stan feeling as he walks home with the broken glasses?

Stan: I can’t do anything right.

Joe: Say that again.

Stan: I can’t do anything right. It’s just too hard for me.

Joe: Stan, now stop that picture, freeze-frame it. Now imagine that Big Stan is in the picture. That is you today. What would Big Stan say to Little Stan, who is walking home from school with broken glasses?

Stan: He would say it was no big deal.

Joe: Can you hold little Stan in your arms right now and simply say, Little Stan you’re safe; it’s no big deal.

Stan: Yes. It’s no big deal little Stan; it really doesn’t matter.

Joe: Now, can you tell Little Stan that you love him and you will always be there for him?

Stan: (Eyes swell up a little tear falls to his cheek. This means the new belief has been installed.) Yes. Little Stan, I love you and I will always take care of you.

Joe: Stan, open your eyes. Fill in the blank. Asking for referrals is _________.

Stan: (With passion and conviction) Is no big deal.

Stan wrote me a note after the training.

Dear Joe,

On a purely personal level today, I am back in touch with the realization that I don’t have to live my life out of the choices and decisions I made as a child.

I am free to choose right now and in every moment to live and act from who I am now to create the person I intend to become.

Here Are The 8 Steps That Stan Went Through – I Call It Belief-O-Matic

Step1. Select a single statement that represents your negative belief about asking for referrals. Stan selected’ “asking for referrals is difficult.”

Step 2. Make sure you want to change your belief. When you are working with a coach, guide or friend to help you make changes in your belief, make certain that you give your guide permission to change your belief. This step is called Desire.

Stan confirmed that he wanted to get rid of the belief that asking for referrals is difficult.

Step 3. Say your current belief out loud with passion. Take complete ownership of your belief. Stan says three times, “ Asking for referrals in hard.”  He says it 3 times with great passion.

This step is called Ownership.

Stan affirms, “My whole life has been difficult.”

Step 4. What is the earliest memory of difficult?

You most look deeply into your memory. If you say “I can’t remember anything,”  it means that you are choosing not to remember anything.

Remember, reunite and reconnect with you. The memory that is most painful is the one you choose not to look at or re-experience. This is the part of the process that will set you free.

Close your eyes and look deep. Keep saying the Ownership Statement out loud and discover the memory that is the earliest experience of this statement.

You might remember something from high school.

If you have a specific example before the age of 10 – you might want to look again. Can you remember anything before the age of 7 that reminds you of difficult? Stan shared a high school memory and I helped him look to an earlier time.

Most of the time your beliefs come from early childhood from birth to 5 years old.  Once you have discovered the origin of the belief – go to-

Step 5.
This step is called Discover.
Stan remembers his experience with his broken glasses.

Once you have the picture in mind, completely embrace the scene.
Be in the scene.

Relive the scene.

Completely associate with the situation – this is a memory not a reality. Byron Katie says you may have been beaten as a child once, but in your memory you beat your self up everyday by not dealing with this once and for all.

This is the step many people in our culture choose to cover up with a pharmaceutical solution. Speak it out loud and say exactly what is happening. Speak it in the first person like it is happening to you right now.

Completely feel the emotional charge associated with it. This step can take time to fully process – feel it – embrace it.

Stan embraces his story. I am walking home from school, looking down at my glasses and they are broken. I am very upset because I know that when I get home I am going to get in big trouble. My dad is so hard on me.

Step 6. Once you have fully emotionalized in step 5 – or another way of saying it is you are done crying – now dissociate from the scene.

Create a still picture of the situation in your mind. Disassociate from the situation.

Simply stand outside the picture and witness the scene. The step is called Witnessing.

Stan freeze-frames the picture and steps outside it.

Step 7. As you are witnessing – access love.

Find something in the situation that you can love. Surround the picture with your love. Love the situation.

Love the picture. You don’t have to love the people. Just love the situation. If you choose, you can love the people. The secret to releasing the old belief is to release the energy that is stored in the memory. This memory is controlling you life.

Choose to live from your imagination, not from a childhood memory that you didn’t even choose.

The path to freedom is filled with love. Love heals all. This step is called Acceptance.

Big Stan picks up little Stan and says, “ It’s no big deal.”

Step 8. Re-Create a new belief.

Stan says that asking for referrals is no big deal.

The Belief-O- Matic
1. Awareness -
2. Desire
3. Ownership
4. Discover
5. Embrace
6. Witness
7. Accept
8. Re-Create

Referability

Click, Listen and Learn

You hear me use the word referability quite a bit. Let me define it for you.

Referability is the awareness that you feel when you are giving so much value to your client, that they unconsciously want to send people they care about to you because they deeply respect you.

Referability is not always what you say; it’s more who you are and what you do.

Referability is the silent power of care and respect.

Referrability is letting your actions and attitude do your talking.

Referability is making yourself so valuable, so powerful, so congruent, so clear, and so aware that people around you experience an amplified desire to share the feeling they are getting from you with the people they care about.

What Is Your Awareness About Your Referability?

Do you have enough awareness to know when you are being referable and when you are not being referable?

Do you have enough consciousness to know when you are thinking like and behaving like a person who radiates with referability and when you are not?

Your referability resides inside your consciousness.

Your consciousness is your concept of yourself.

You create your self-concept through the arrangement of your thoughts.

Your thoughts are always arranged in the image of all you believe and consent to be true.

You are a manifestation of every combination of thoughts you have ever had.

Everything that happens to you, everything you do to yourself and others and everything that is currently present in your life right now has happened as a result of your state of consciousness.

Your consciousness is all that you think and desire and love, all that you believe is true and consent to.

That is why a change to a referability consciousness is necessary before you can actually start to consistently receive high quality referrals.

You must develop a referability consciousness.

You do that by saturating yourself in all the knowledge, insight and wisdom you can find on the subject of referrals.

That is why I have spent the last 25 years of my life reading, researching, interviewing and thinking about the subject of referrals.

Some of the most successful agents and lenders in North America are students of By Referral Only.

Many of the national trainers and coaches within the real estate and mortgage industry are students of the By Referral Only teachings.

So you have found the right place to learn and master the subject of referrals. Come back daily for your dose of referral reality.

Don't keep me a secret - pass it on!

GO FOR IT!

Focus On Finding Meaningful Information

Click, Listen and Learn

You like me, want your conversations with the people who are referred to you to be meaningful, valuable, significant, and compelling. If that is the case, then you must do your homework prior to contacting your referred prospect.

Here are four suggested questions to ask your referring person about the referred person.

Give them a try. What I have experienced is that once I have the answers to the four FORD questions, then it is much easier to initiate a meaningful conversation with the referred prospect.

You be the judge.

*****

Magic Words That Get Referrals

“Thank you for referring Dean to me. I don’t know if I can help him.

Only after I talk with him will I know.

May I ask you a few questions about so when I do talk to him I won’t feel like a stranger?”
 
F    What can you tell me about Dean and his family?
O    What information can you share with me about his occupation?
R    What does Dean do for recreation?
D    Do you know anything about Dean’s dream or aspiration?

*****

When you know the answers to questions like this, it is so much easier to call Dean and build rapport and trust quicker.

For example, this is how I would call Dean if Patty referred him to me.

*****
Magic Words That Get Referrals

RING…RING

“Hello?”

“Dean?” (pause)

“Yes?”

“Joe Stumpf.” (pause)

“Yes?”

“We have a mutual friend, Patty Miller. Is this a good time to talk?”

“Yes, I know Patty well.”

“Dean, we were talking about you yesterday and she suggested I give you a quick call.”

“Yes.”

“Patty, told me you enjoy golf and that you and your wife, Sonja, live at Valley Country Club.”

“That’s right.”

“She’s big fan of yours – and all the consulting work you do for website clients.”

“Yes.”

“Dean, I am Patty’s mortgage consultant and she thought it would be a good idea to call you introduce myself and see if we have a reason to get together.”

“I don’t know if I can help you, but if I can ask you a few questions, then I can listen to your answers and if I am not the right person to help, then you I can let you know right away.”

“I have an opening in my schedule tomorrow at 1 p.m. or next Wednesday at 3 p.m.”

*****

This is such a key concept in securing referral business.

Please, study this.

The vital thing is that you don't “wing it.”

You need to have a very intentional approach.

It is always best to script it. With a script you sound more prepared and confident.

Be clear about who you are and why you're calling.

An important phrase I used above is, “We have a mutual friend Patty Miller. Is this a good time to talk?”

Scripting referral conversations is something that we spend a great deal of time on at our Main Event training on day three.

If you haven’t been to the NEW Main Event click here and check it out.

GO FOR IT!

What Is A Joe Day?

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A few times a month I invite clients (friends) to my Cardiff By The Sea home.

We talk a little business, walk on the beach, eat well, hang out under the JoGlo and enjoy each other’s spirits.

Recently, Terry Moerler and Ray McCarthy from Thousand Oaks, California took the train down and spent a day and half with me. Terry and Ray have one of the most successful real estate businesses in the United States. 

What In The Bleep...          Members Since 1996        Long Long Walk... 

                                    

    Cardiff Home                 The Joglo.............................................

Unconscious Commitment

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What Is Your Unconscious Commitment About Building A Referral Business?

What is your truth about your commitment to creating referable relationships?

Do you really want to have healthy genuine relationships to be the foundation of your business?

You have a choice.

You can be transactional.

You can help a person buy sell or borrow and never have a genuine referable relationship.

You can attract people through advertising and marketing and never really get too close to them and certainly never let them get to close to you.

You can do the deal and move on.

You can play on the surface and have little or no depth to your relationship.

You can easily attract people who have the same level of commitment.

You can easily find buyers, sellers and borrowers who see you as an end to a means.

They don’t want relationship, they want a good deal and they don’t really care about you and your personal being.

I would know.

For my first 10 years in business, I was not conscious about whom I had to be and the quality of commitment that was required to have genuine committed referable relationships.

Here is my bottom line truth about how I began the process of creating a conscious referral business - I never had the slightest chance of creating and sustaining a referral business until I made a conscious commitment to creating healthy, happy relationships in my life.

Up until the moment I made a conscious commitment to attracting and keeping great healthy clients, my unconscious programming was running my life and business.

A truer statement was my unconscious commitment was doing a better job of ruining it then running it.

Looking back over my life, I can see now that the biggest and hardest decision I made was to change my unconscious programming about attracting genuine healthy referable relationships.

Through lots of personal development and reflective awareness, I have come to the place where I believe that whatever is going on in my life is what I am committed to either consciously, unconsciously or both.

The power of commitment has given me everything I have in my life now.

If you want to know what you’re committed to, simply look at the results you have in your life.

What is your commitment to money?
What is your commitment to happiness?
What is your commitment to genuine loving relationships?

What ever is happening now is what you are committed to – and for the most part the commitment is an unconscious commitment.

Building Referable Relationship

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Do you have a belief that asking for referrals will hurt your existing clients, friends and family relationships?

I wonder where that belief comes from.

My 25 years of experience tells me something very different.

My belief is, “asking for referrals strengthens not weakens relationships.”

Now, if you have a fear of asking for referrals, it may be that you have real challenges with either your character or your systems.

The fact is, when your character is strong and your systems are strong, asking for referrals will strengthen your relationship.

What do you need to do today to:

1.    Strengthen your character?
2.    Strengthen you systems?
3.    Ask people who trust you to refer you?

When you do all three you build referable relationships.

Go For It!

10 Referral Conflicts

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What Are The Ten Internal Conflicts You Must Overcome To Attain Referral Mastery?

Are you the type of real estate or mortgage consultant who knows they should be asking for referrals and you are not?

Try this.

Out of these 10 questions, how many do you answer yes?

1.    Have you developed the habit of forgetting to ask for referrals?

2.    When you are with people do you spend all your time talking about current business and do you not leave enough time to ask for referrals?

3.    Do you feel awkward or uncomfortable when you ask for a referral and they don’t know anyone?

4.    Do you feel that asking for a referral is a sign of weakness and believe that if they know anyone they will refer you without you having to ask?

5.    Do you ever feel that asking for a referral is unprofessional?

6.    Have you ever felt like you were begging or groveling for business when you are asking for referrals?

7.    Have you had a bad experience asking for a referral in the past and you have decided not to do it anymore in the future?

8.    Are you uncomfortable with the scripts or dialogues you have been taught to use to ask for referrals or have you not had any training in asking for referrals or both?

9.    Do you ever feel you don’t deserve referrals?

10.     Do you feel that most people have had a bad experience referring a friend to a typical salesperson so you don’t bother asking?

So let’s call the 10 questions “your internal conflict.”

Let’s divide them into three groups - unconscious conflicts, lack of value conflicts and you-centered conflicts. 

#1.Unconscious Conflict

Do you forget to ask for referrals?

Do you just run out of time?

I am going to be tough on you now!

These two reasons are simply unconscious conflicts.

Wake up.

This gives you the opportunity to talk about your philosophy of doing business.

Have your vision statement printed on the back of your card.

This is to remind you what is important to you.

When you show people your card,use the following dialogue:

*****

Power Referral Dialogue

Here is my card. The front is all my contact information. My phone, address and e-mail.
The gold seal ‘By Referral Only” is my philosophy.  If you turn the card over, you will see that on the backside it explains how my philosophy of doing business By Referral Only serves you.

*****

Forgetting is Irresponsible

Forgetting and not leaving enough time to talk about referrals is simply unacceptable behavior for the agent or lender who demands excellence from him or herself.

How would you like your client to say to you, “I forgot I have to pay you?”

Or if the electric company said, “we forgot to turn on your electric?”

You would be livid.

Get upset at yourself for this lame unconscious reason for not asking.

Not leaving enough time is simply a way of sabotaging your success. The easiest remedy is to talk about it in the beginning.

That is why I train my 10-Step Initial Presentation Consultation to plant referral seeds at least 3 to 5 times in the first 15 to 18 minutes.

Wake up and remember to ask and do it in the beginning so you don’t ever run out of time.

#2 Lack of Value Conflict

You may actually believe that there are better skilled agents and lenders out there who can do a more professional job then you.

Well, have I got news for you!

Most of the agents and lenders out there are not nearly as skilled or dedicated as you.

How do I know?

You’re reading this.

Just the fact that you’re willing to study and improve your skills makes you one of the top 10% of the agents and lenders in the business.

Try this.

Think of the most inept, unethical, incompetent real estate agent or lender you know.

Think of a person in your local area.

A person you may have done business with or have heard of this person as being a poor representative of your industry.

See that person in your in you mind’s eye.

Now imagine your client’s best friends, family members and co-workers stumbling into him or her at an open house, meeting them on floor duty or responding to some web information.

The next step is the most painful but it’s the most mature thing you can do.

Imagine that you are fully responsibility for that person’s poor experience buying, selling or borrowing.

I didn't’t say feel guilty – guilt sucks – I said feel responsible.

You may ask, “Why am I responsible?”

Good question.

The answer is that you choose not to talk about referrals or ask for referrals because you don’t recognize your value.

You don’t believe in you.

You don’t believe you make a difference.

You don’t believe you provide enough value.

You don’t believe that what you do is worth their referral. You might even have trouble defending how much commission you charge because you don’t know your value.

It’s time for you to stop building the business if of all “those” agents and lenders out there that simply don’t have the integrity and the character that you have.

The way you stop that is – ask for referrals – you’re worth it.

To be comfortable and feel worthy and deserving you really must believe that your consulting skills, your negotiating skills and your ability to oversee all the complexity in the transition is really of value to them.

You must have a deep knowledge that you are the best option available for them and everyone they know and love.

You may not really believe that when they have a friend or family member who needs a great consultant, a skilled negotiator or a person to oversee all the transitional details that you’re the best person for that job.

At the By Referral Only 3-Day Main Event Workshop you learn how to present yourself as a skilled Consultant, Negotiator, and Person Who Oversees all the Transactional Details.

# 3 You Centered Conflict

If you have a comfort or deserving issue, it’s because your approach does not fit your skill level.

I teach two ways to approach asking for referrals.

Approach one is called “You Centered.”

To be “You Centered”, you must be the best, know you’re the best and communicate like you’re the best.

You believe that people should refer you because they owe it to you.
It’s all part of the agreement. You do a great job consulting, negotiating and overseeing all the details and they gladly refer people to you – because your business is based on referrals.

You hold them co-responsible for the growth of your business.

This is not arrogance. This is confidence.

You deserve it.

This approach works very well when your confidence is high based on how skilled you are in the big three.

However, if you are uncomfortable or feeling undeserving, you would be best to master “The Client Centered Approach.”

It is focused on the value the clients receives and how important it is that they make sure their friends and family members know how to access the same service.

You must have all the systems and processes in place so you really believe you provide extraordinary value.

You must have a core belief that says, “What I offer to my clients in the way of my consulting, negotiating and overseeing of all the details of the real estate and mortgage transaction is so much more valuable then any other agent or lender could ever imagine providing.

The person you ask for a referral must also believe that your value and expertise is far superior to any other option.

This is the big secret.

You must be able to communicate clearly that the people they care about will never know about you if they choose to not refer you.

The Referral Moment

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From the moment your client signs a listing agreement, buyer-broker agreement or loan application, you begin stage one of the five stages on the Customer Experience Time Line.

Your service delivering system is set up to deliver beyond your client’s expectations during these five stages of relationship.

When you deliver beyond your client’s expectations during any one of the five stages, this is called  ‘The Referral Moment.”

This moment is identified when your client acknowledges your efforts with some expression of appreciation, like “Wow!” or “Thank You!”

“Value Awareness Questions”

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Ask your clients 'value awareness questions' that lead them to discovering, recognizing and appreciating what you have delivered to them.

Through proper training you will develop a referral reflex. This means you will identify 'The Referral Moment' as the most opportune time to bring forward a conversation about how they can let others know that they are your clients. The secret is to help you raise your clients’ level of awareness of the value you have delivered to them. The more they perceive your value to them, the more referable you become.

Here are 7 examples of Value Awareness Questions you can ask your client in 'The Referral Moment'.

*****

Magic Words that Get Referrals

1.    Thanks for noticing, that feels real good to hear that you are pleased. Because I want to give others the same value I have provided you, could you take a minute and tell me how what I have done for you has been valuable? I was wondering if you could tell me what you appreciate most of what I’ve just done?

2.    Joe, thanks for noticing. In what way has what I have done brought value to your life?

3.    Joe, it's been my pleasure. We have been working together now for _____ weeks, would you please share with me what you believe is the most valuable thing I have done for you?

4.    Joe, thank you. It sounds like you are pleased. Could you tell me how what I have done for you has brought value to your life?

5.    Joe, thank you, that feels good.  Could you tell me how my real estate/mortgage service has been of value to you?

6.    Joe, I appreciate your kind words. We've discussed a great deal of issues today. Has what I shared with you at this meeting been valuable to you? In what way?

7.    Joe, thanks for saying something. I know if the roles were reversed, you would do the same for me. Would you tell me what the most valuable part of my service has been to you and why?

*****

What is Joe's Journal.com?

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Hi I am Joe Stumpf, the Joe in JoesJournal.com.

This is one of my playgrounds.

Here I get to share, create, exchange, collaborate and teach whatever I want that will help you become more referable.

For over 25 years I have been writing my thoughts, concepts, insight and
awareness into my journals.

I have 2,783 pages of stuff, all kinds of stuff that I have observed in my
lifetime.

I have had unprecedented access to the most successful agents and lenders in all of North America.

I have observed and journalized exactly what they do, what they don't do, how they think, and how they out wit, out maneuver and out fox virtually everyone.

I have read over 1,000 books on personal development, business success,
spiritual awareness, health, nutrition, relationships, leadership and
management.

I have interviewed and met with hundreds of authors who are   
experts in a wide variety of disciplines. Everything I have experienced has
been captured in my journals.

From 2002 to 2004, I went through a painful martial breakup. In April of 2004, I took five days (the dark night of the soul) and read everything I had written in the prior 23 years.

It served as a significant piece in my healing process.

It reminded me that I have a rich and active -- sometimes overly active -- mind and  imagination. When I was doubting myself and my value to the world, my writings reminded me that I am a keen observer, a smart and thoughtful loving man who simply loves to teach everything he learns.