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MAGIC WORDS Wisdom Wednesday #2

In today’s training I demonstrate the advanced questioning sequence for the Ultimate Scenario.

See if you can notice the 8 questions that I ask Adriana during this demonstration.

1.    What is important about _______to you?
2.    Specifically what’s important about _______to you?
3.    What happens when you imagine _______?
4.    What would happen if you didn’t get ________?
5.    What would _______do for you?
6.    How would it feel for you to ________?
7.    What's important in a _______to you?
8.    What do you really want?

Starting in Chicago at the Main Event I will be demonstrating how to interview your buyers, sellers and borrowers using this powerful my new MAGIC WORDS.


I Was Thinking About You Today When I Was Standing In Line at the Post Office...

Dear Jan,

Did you know that it now costs 41 cents to send a first class letter?

You, like me, probably have a bunch of 39-cent stamps that are no good unless you have
the new 2-cent stamp sticking next to it.

So to help you out until you get a chance to get to the post office I decided to send you 20 of the new 2 cent stamps.

I hope this saves you a little time and trouble.

Joe Stumpf

P.S.  Jan, I was wondering if you were aware that right now, because of the abundant supply of homes on the market, that it may be a great time for a family member, friend or neighbor to move up to their dream home.

Enclosed are a few of my business cards.  The next time you're in a conversation with someone and they mention that they would like to move into the home of their dreams, please feel free to send them to me for the help they deserve.

Three New Websites

Good Morning,

Did you know that there is a secret to memorizing the Consult, Negotiate, and Oversee Dialogues?

Do you know what the secret is?

The secret is "Picture Pegging".

Picture pegging is using visual images wrapped around your scripts.

It is much easier to show you than to tell you.

Here is what I did for you...

I have created three new Picture Pegs websites for you!

1. I Am Your Consultant

2. I Am Your Negotiator

3. I Am Your Overseer

Go ahead and visit each one of these new websites and listen to the audio files.

You will soon be on your way to memorizing the three most important dialogues in your business.



Pass It On

I Choose Conscious Language

Good Morning,

Here is another video clip from Dialogue School. Meshell Zwicker teaches how to choose empowering words to describe what's important to you.


I Love The Thought....

Good Morning

Yesterday 14 By Referral Only Consultants joined Meshell Zwicker and I at Dialouge School.

In this brief video clip we teach a simple method of conscious affirmation using the magic words " I am loving the thought".



Situational Coaching EOS Postcard

Good Morning,

Do you have a business situation that may require some MAGIC WORDS COACHING?

Are you searching for a perfect dialogue for a specific situation?

Maybe you're struggling to find the right words at the right time with the right tone?

Here is my invitation.

Send me your specific situation that you need help with, and I will do my best to guide you in the right direction.

Of course I will post my answers right here at

Have a great day.


Question From Donn Mattusch:

The EOS, as good as they are, do not honestly represent my accomplishments. 

My coach and I have agreed that I should modify the EOS in keeping with my integrity. 

However, it becomes a  letter filled with  "I would have" or "I could have". 

Isn't that missing your whole point? 


Good question.

Your coach has given you stellar advice.

To start with the EOS is not about you.  It's all about the problem the person had
and how they solved their problem.

Here is an example of how to modifying the EOS to fit your situation.


Dear Friends

Just a note to remind you of how I can help the people you care about.

A few weeks ago a couple met with their CPA.  After reviewing their
taxes they discovered they had to pay $5,690.  They were shocked, upset and
determined not to let that happen to them again.

Their CPA recommended that they consider buying a home so they could take
full advantage of the tax deduction for the interest on the mortgage

This young couple took the CPA's advice and decided to buy a
three-bedroom home on a nice lot in a great neighborhood.

The sales price was $450,000.  They decided to buy the home with no
money down and they got a 7-year interest only loan.  Their payment is
slightly more than what they were paying in rent and with the tax
advantages they will actually get money back on their taxes instead of

The next time you are in a conversation with a person who is renting and
they mention that they want to reduce their tax liability, please call
me and together we can talk about how you can introduce them to me.

Your Real Estate Consultant

Donn Mattusch


Notice I don't say the word I or me until the very last sentence.

The magic in the EOS postcard is, it's all about them.

If you have a situation that you need dialogue or scripting let me know.


A Message From Jan

Good Morning,

My friend Jan Cotten has an important message for you, please listen.

Click Here: What You Need To Know Now To Make Money in This Market Place

Have a great day.


P.S. Find out more about what Jan is talking about! Click here.

MAGIC WORDS on Wisdom Wednesday 1



The other day I was in Starbucks and I started talking to a woman in line.

She told me she was in real estate. I chuckled inside and thought this is your lucky day.

I asked her, “How’s the Market?”

Her response was, “It’s picking up”.

I thought the words; “It’s picking up” may not be the best words to choose to answer that question?

Then I thought about my question?

What really was I asking her when I asked, “How’s the market?”

What I was really asking was, "How's my market not how's your market?"

What I really wanted to know is, in my neighborhood on my block are the values of homes going up or down and how long is it taking to sell a home.

So here is a suggested dialogue the next time a person asks you how’s the market?

Magic Words

How’s the market?

Overall the market is doing well.

I’m curious when you ask how’s the market, would you be interested in specifically how much homes are selling for in your neighborhood and how long they are taking to sell?


What I do for my friends, family and other people in the neighborhood is send a quick email that gives you an up to the moment analysis of how well the market is doing in your neighborhood.  Would you like me to send that to you?


Cool, what’s your email address.

Give that a try. It will help you add people to your data base and also help you move into a more meaningful real estate discussion when you are having causal encounters.

Have a Great Day


Nothing Succeeds Like Success.

Good Morning,

Monday 11AM

Thoughts From My Journal

Nothing gives me a clearer stronger sense of purpose then installing a system in my business.

Experience shows that my major obstacle to creating a systematic business is my temptation to do too many things at one time and force accomplishments too quickly.

Imagine a high jumper who wishes she could clear a height of six feet.
She knows from experience she can regularly clear five feet, but six feet seems far beyond her current abilities – only a wish, a dream.

But she is determined to make this change in her abilities.

She intends to use her willpower and to accomplish her goal.

How then does she proceed?

One option is set the bar at six feet.

Then practice every day trying to clear six feet.

She will continually fail, but she hopes she will eventually succeed and she may.

Another option is to set little goals that progressively move her towards her ultimate goal.

First she would set the high jump bar at five feet one inch.

She would work to clear that height consistently and in doing so build up her feeling of success and confidence.  Inch by inch, she would work her way up.

Each new goal would be a small step requiring more strength and skill.

These small reachable, incremental gains would give her the confidence she will need to get to her ultimate goal of six feet.

The analogy is pertinent when you’re installing the BY REFERRAL ONLY Systems in your business.

When we joined your team we provided you with seven great new tools to systematize your Before, During and After Units.

1-    MyClients Relationship Management System
2-    MyPhoneleads System
3-    MyWebleads System
4-    During Touch Point Systems
5-    The 2-Minute Newsletter
6-    The Letter From The Heart
7-    The Evidence of Success

Create for yourself the daily experience of successfully working with one system at a time.

So, for example, start with the MyClients Relationship Management System.

1-    Import all your data into the system.
2-    Call our tech support team to help you get it done.
3-    Clean out all your old data.
4-    Work only on this one project until you are complete.

It is better to be working on only one project at a time that you’re 100% committed to completing, than it is to be working on 10 projects that you are only 10% committed to completing.

Build and develop the mental muscles of starting something and completing it.

Only when you’re 100% complete, then move onto the next project.

You will feel great about finishing what you start.

It takes a lot of willpower and discipline to work on only one thing at a time, but once you master this way of thinking, you will soon be doing bigger and bigger projects.

Call your coach today and start progressively moving towards your goals one step at a time.


the dip

Do you choose to be the best in the world at Consulting, Negotiating and Overseeing the transactional details?

216rdyfmeil_aa_ Seth Godin has a great new idea; Quit whatever you cannot be or do not want to be the best in the world at.

What does that mean?

When it is time to buy, sell or borrow, people like you and me want their agent or lender to be the BEST in their world.

Ask yourself, do the people in your client base consider you to be the best in their world at helping them achieve their goals.

Seth outlines a great plan for you to be the best. This book or audio is essential learning for all By Referral Only consultants who hate mediocrity and will only settle for being the best. Get it now!

The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick)


I just got off the phone with the panelist who will be at the Strategic Forum on May 22 in Fort Lauderdale. 


This is going to be a great conference ....check it out.

Our Best Business Building Money Making Conference Ever!


What is Commitment?

Good Morning,


This morning I found myself considering all my current commitments.

Then as I was thumbing through an old journal this passage instantly got my attention.

After reading several times it was easier to re-commit.




Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.

It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions, which speak louder than the words.

It is making the time when there is none.

Coming through time after time, year after year.

Commitment is the stuff character is made of, the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism.


Mary's Seaside Skippers

Good Morning,

Today was a first for me. I joined the newly formed Seaside Skippers club.

Go To Hey

Check out todays adventure.    

Comment: -------- Joe -- that is SO cool!!  Skipping is for me - walking is boring, running is too hard on my knees... so it's the perfect thing to do! Thanks for sharing! Jan Cotton

Rules for Creation

Good Morning

From Joes Journal

Have you ever wanted to press the re-set button on a particular area of your life?

When we press re-set we get a chance to start all over again plus we get to apply everything we learned from our past experiences. That is how you re-create your life.

Here are my rules for re-creation.

1.    I have everything I need to get started right here and right now. I may not have everything I want yet I have everything I need. I believe in the law of motion which states as soon as I move confidently in the direction of my new ideal more will be given to me to help me on my way.

2.    I have recognized that energy that I spend worrying about the future is the exact same energy I can use to create the future.

3.    I can get everything I want in life all I MUST do is find people who want what I want and then help them get it. If what I want is friendship, companionship, conscious spiritual connection, willingness to expand and grow, meaningful thoughtful loving conversation, adventure, respect, truth and fun then that is what I MUST offer others.

So that’s what I’m thinking and meditating on this morning.

Have a great day – I hope to hear you on the Art of Asking call today at  10:30am. I have created a great training for you. ( By Referral Only members )

Joe Stumpf

Life Is Adventure

Good Morning From Santa Monica California,

From My Journal:

One of the new habits that I choose to integrate into my daily living is to select an attitude that no longer serves me and replaces it with a new more empowering one.

For me the secret is to pick only one attitude a day that I waste energy on. Then focus on giving that same energy to a new more positive expression.

Today 4-24-2007 I choose to replace the attitude of doubt with the attitude of adventure.

Today when my mind gives rise to doubt I will notice the thought I will immediately replace it with my
new thought...

" My life is a grand adventure. Today I choose to live my life as a full expression of the highest version of myself."

Living My Adventure Today


Doubt. To feel unconvinced or uncertain about something.

Adventure. The participation or willingness to participate in things that involve uncertainty and risk.

My Six Short Sale Rules

In some parts of the country short sales are becoming common place.

It’s important that you define a set of boundaries or rules that you adhere to in this type of situation.

These would be My Six Must For Me To Work On A Short Sale.

Do you have any to add?

1. The seller wants to keep their credit in good standing.

2. The seller has some cash to contribute to the short fall.

3. There is enough money in the sales to pay a second mortgage or any liens or judgments.

4. You know the lender will accept short sales.

5. You are willing to work with buyer who will wait two to three months to close.

6. You get paid full commission.

Be conscious what type of deals you get involved in.

If you apply these six rules to a short sale situations, more than likely you're going to serve someone during a difficult time.


The seller must have a "hardship" and be able to document it.
(ie:illness,divorce,reduction in income,family crisis, loss of job etc.)

They need to show the lender why they cannot continue to make payments.
They also need to provide all their income/expense information. If they
are "payment capable" even if its difficult chances are the lender will
not accept a short payoff.

Cherie Tiscareno

Happy Anniversary

Good Morning,

We did it!

Today you and I celebrate our one year anniversary.

One year ago today I launched!

In our first year 101,431 visitors have taken time to read!

In a few weeks joesjournal will be making a major announcement. We are making some great changes so we can serve you better then ever.

Thanks Again

Joe Stumpf

The Over Priced Listing

Good Morning,

Last week I was driving around my neighborhood. I spotted a For Sale sign that I know has been in front of this house at least 4 months.

My first thought was " I wonder what is wrong with the house since things in my neighborhood sell pretty fast."

Sure enough on Sunday on my way home from church I noticed that the agent was holding an open house.

I stopped in.

The first question I asked was, "how long as it been on the market?"

He said, "5 months."

I said, " what wrong with it?”

He said, "it is overpriced by $100,000."

I chuckled and I thought I wonder if the seller knows.

I imagine you care enough about your client to tell them the truth.

What I’m not sure about is weather you have a stronger desire to please others then you have a desire to tell the truth?

I ‘m not going to tell you that it is easy to please a seller by taking an over priced listing because you already know that, what I would like to suggest is that you use this simple Magic Words Dialogue the next time a seller suggest you list their home in a price range that is way to high.

Magic Words

Mr. and Mrs. Seller everyone has opinion about price.

The bank will have an opinion.
The appraiser will have an opinion.
The buyer has an opinion.
The other agents will have an opinion
You and I have an opinion of price.

Experience shows that if you choose to overprice your home and it sits on the market for more then 100 days what do you think potential buyers, agents, appraiser and the banks may think?

Of course, they are thinking something must be wrong with that home.

Mr. and Mrs. Seller I care enough about you to tell you the truth.

I don’t want anyone to think there is something wrong with your lovely home.

Lets but it on the market at a price that reflects the range that it is most likely going to sell in the next 60 days.


I wonder if anyone has had this conversation with my neighbor who's home did not sell over the weekend.

When will they be told the truth?

I think I’ll take a walk by the house tonight.


1014 lbs. of Food!

The San Diego Main Event participants contributed 1014 lbs. of food to the local San Diego Food Bank.

Watch Maureen the head of the San Diego Fund Raising thank By Referral Only and the students of the Main Event for their generosity.

The next time you attend a Main Event, bring a can a food and feed a family in your community.



Marketing Monday

Are you listening to Marketing Monday?

My friend, Dean Jackson, is a crystal clear thinker. He understands what you need to do right now to get your business moving quickly in the new, right direction.

Listen to his Marketing Monday Podcast .


San Diego Reconnect Letter

It was my commitment to you and the 800 participants at that event to transcribe the Reconnect Letter you helped me compose, so here it is:

Dear Joe,

After two collective years of passionately teaching kindergarten and first grade children, I have made a choice on a new career.

In making the choice of what I wanted to do next, I thought about you and what skills I have that would best serve you. 

My two greatest skills are my ability to prepare thoroughly so I have the integrity to create boundaries and structures for people.  In working with children in these primary grades, the greatest I could give them would be consistency and predictability. 

My second greatest skill is my determination, persistence and that 'never quit' attitude.  This determination, I learned, is important to model for them.

So, while I was considering what career would be best with these two skills, I chose the real estate industry. 

Not that the real estate industry needs another real estate agent, because there are plenty of them; but what I have discovered is that there are not enough with the skills of integrity, preparation, boundary setting, guidance in modeling great behavior, plus persistence, and determination.

So the next time you, your family members, or your friends are going to buy or sell a home, or just need some advise or counsel, you now know you have a friend who is structured with integrity and guidelines and boundaries, and a lot of experience working in an environment where it requires a lot of determination and persistence. 

And that is the way that I would show up for you or, any of your family and friends that you introduce me to.

Thank you very much. I look forward to talking with you.

Eileen Loyola

How To Be Happy

Click Here:The Mind of Happiness!

My Two Favorite Blogs

#1 Seth Godin

#2 Dean Jackson

I'm curious, what are your two favorite blogs?


A Simple Reframe Dialogue When A Seller Asks You To Cut Your Commission

Seller says, "We interviewed an agent who said they would charge me x%, would you cut your commission?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Seller, I’m curious did you say that agent will list it for x% or sell it for x%?"

"I'm not going to tell you that some people will tell you whatever you want to hear to get your listing because you already know that, however, I would like to suggest that you understand what happens when you decide to cut into the commission."

"Here, let me show you what happens when an agent cuts their commission."

Now show the seller a list of all the expired listings in the local market that were listed at a low commission. Explain how agents get paid and how they prefer to show homes they get paid a full commission on.

This is one of many ways to help your sellers understand the unintended consequences of their decision to ask you to cut your commission.

Situational Coaching

Mei Mei wanted some fresh dialogue when working with a Buyer who was hesitating when it came time to make an offer on a home they really liked.

She asked me what would I say in a situation like that.

Here is my situational coaching:

Magic Words

Mr. and Mrs. Buyer, I'm your consultant, and my responsibility is to ask you thoughtful questions so you can gain greater clarity and make easier choices.

As your consultant, experience tells me that when you choose to procrastinate, delay or hesitate  making a decision, it may be you have some level of uncertainty.

To help you gain greater clarity let me ask you four, simple questions:

1.    What will happen if you do buy this home?

2.    What will happen if you don’t buy this home?

3.    What won’t happen if you do buy this home?

4.    What won’t happen if you don’t buy this home?

These four, simple questions help your client get unstuck and move through their procrastination and hesitation, quickly and happily.

Ask each question independently.

Experience shows me that when you take the time to deeply understand your client from these four points of view, your client loosens up and makes better choices.

Give the four questions a try and let me know how they work for you.

Do you have a situation that you want some fresh dialogues for?

Email me and I will respond here at in a timely fashion.


Magic Words To Describe What A Mortgage Planner Is!

A person who helps their client successfully manage their home equity to increase liquidity, safety and rate of return and tax deductions.

Unlike the traditional loan officer, our role is to help our client integrate the loan that they select, into their over-all, long term and short term financial and investment plan, to help minimize taxes, improve cash flow and minimize interest expense.

Two Simple Ways To Use Magic Words To Build Rapport With Email

As you know, it's human nature for people to like people who are most like them.

If that is true, then here are two simple, yet effective, Magic Words Technologies to build rapport when you respond to emails.

#1 Use Matching Sensory Words. (See, Hear, Feel)

Here are some examples with rapport enhancing responses.

Example: Auditory Language (Hear)

Let's get together for coffee. I want to talk to you about making an offer on the Highland property.
Response: I’m looking forward to getting together to talk about your offer on the Highland property.

Example: Visual Language (See)

I saw a sign in front of a home on Highland Street and I would like to see the inside. When can you show me?
Response: Looking at my calendar right now, and it looks like tomorrow at 4pm would be the first time I could show you the home on Highland. How does that look for you?

Example: Kinesthetic Language (Feel)

Mary, it was great to connect with you today. Larry and I would love it if you lined up about 5 homes for us to check out today. How do you feel about that?

Response: I feel great about that. I’m so glad you stayed in touch. I'd be happy to meet with you and check out what's new on the market. Does 3pm on Tuesday feel right?

#2 Match Salutations and Levels of Formality

If you receive an email with 'Dear Mrs. Anderson,' address your reply in the same fashion.

If the writing is casual ('Hey'), adopt that tone.

The same goes for sign-offs.

If they've included professional information after their name, do the same with your reply, and arrange the information in a similar format.

So there you go -- two ways to use Magic Words to build rapport using e-mail.

What's Happening At The Main Event

  Food To Bring To The Main Event


Here is a core belief that I have developed over the past 23 years coaching and training lenders.

If you know how to handle rejection skillfully, you are more likely to put yourself into a position to be rejected. If you do not have adequate skills to handle rejection, you will avoid situations in which you can be rejected.

So if that is true, one of the skills you want is the proper dialogue when you hear the words, “I don’t know anyone right now," or “If I hear of anyone, I will let you know” or “No, I don’t know anyone.”

You would say: "Thank you for thinking about it."

You say: "Would you be comfortable if I check back with you in a few months to see if anyone comes to mind?"

They say: "No that would be fine."

You say: "In the meantime, the next time you're in a conversation with a person who mentions that they want to refinance their home to lower their monthly payment, please don’t keep me a secret."

They say "You can count on me to do that."

Basal Cell Skin Cancer

Good Morning,

Today I’m going to the dermatologist to have 14 stitches removed from the side of my head, near my left temple.

What happened?

The sun is what happened.

Living in Southern California, playing lots of golf and hanging out in our wonderful sunshine, I got what is called Basal Cell Skin Cancer.

I noticed this pink spot about a year ago and didn’t think much of it.

Then about a month ago, it started bleeding and wouldn’t stop.

My daughter, Traci, urged me (she set up the appointment) to get it looked at.

I did.

So last Monday, after 5 hours of mole surgery, they removed a chunk of this stuff the size of a quarter.

The doctor said, if I would have come in a year earlier when I first noticed it, it would have only been the size of a dime.

It was simple stupidity on my part not to take care of it right away.

Learn from my lack of action.

If you've got anything like this going on now… get it handled now.

Basal cell carcinoma is the most common form of skin cancer.

Basal cell skin cancers look like a small, slow growing, shiny pink or red lump. If left, they tend to become crusty, ulcerate or bleed.

Basal cell skin cancer occurs on the face, scalp, ears, hands, shoulders and back. Basal cell skin cancer can occur on the nose.

How To Create Advocates

“If you want your clients to be an advocate for you, start by being an advocate for them.”  How do I do that?

Adults learn best by example, so the best way to model referral behavior is to help your clients access the high-quality, reliable services they need during their process with you.

A lot of needs arise during the moving process – moving boxes, a new automatic garage door opener, carpet cleaners, lawn care service, and pool service. 

In fact, research shows that 70% of the money people spend on improvements is within the first 90 days of moving.  The best time to refer people with these services to your client is when their need is highest.  If you can be in a position to say, “I have the person for you, don’t worry,” it’s a win for you and big relief for your clients.

And it’s a win-win all the way around, because your client receives great service, you get to model referral behavior to your client and your Team 100 member, and your Team 100 partner is getting better business. 
In short, if you want referrals – refer!

What Does It Mean To Make a Difference?

Good Morning,

Watch this short story and rediscover the truth about our ability to make a difference in this world, one person at a time.

Click Here : Make A  Difference

Thank you Paula!


Welcome to the Strategic Forum Monthly Training .

Good Morning,

Thursday, March 29th

First, have you reserved your seat for the May 22nd, 23rd and 24th Strategic Forum in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida?

Click Here For All The Details On The May Strategic Forum Conference.

Notes For Today's Training

Levels of Perspectives


Mental Models - Reflective

Systemic Thinking - Creative

Patterns - Adaptive

Events - Reactive

How To Create a Plan

Here are 13 questions that will help you gain the focus you must achieve to prosper in today’s market place.

1.    What can I do to make the most significant difference in my business in my lifetime?

2.    What is the single best measurable indicator that I am making progress towards my dream?

3.    If I could accomplish only three measurable priorities in my business before I die, what would I accomplish?

4.    If I could accomplish only three measurable systemic priorities in the next ten years that would make a 50% difference in my lifelong quest for building a significant business, what would I accomplish?

5.    What single word best captures the focus of my next year?

6.    In my business where were my greatest unexpected successes last year?

Why? What three steps could I take now to take full advantage of this “Window of Opportunity” this coming year?

7.    What three land mines or roadblocks need my immediate attention?

8.    If I could only accomplish three measurable priorities in the next 12 months that would make a 50% difference in my business quest for significance in the next 10 years, which three things would I most want to accomplish?

9.    What three measurable priorities could I accomplish in the next 90 days to make a 50% difference in the results I see by the end of the year?

10.    What three changes could I make to see a 50% difference in our morale as a team?

11.    If I had to cut my budget 21%, what would be the first three things to go? If I got a surprise gift of 21% of my budget, what three things would I do immediately?

12.    What three changes could improve the quality of my work by 50% in the next 12 months?

13.    What three dis-empowering habits can I replace with empowering habits that would most raise my frequency so that I am more consistent?

Arlene "Oversees All The Details"

Good Morning,

One more look at By Referral Only member Arlene Lafferty practicing her " I Oversee All The Transactional Details" script at Dialouge School.

We have 4 spaces available for the June 22nd Diaoluge School at my home.

Great job ...Arlene.



Click Here: Dialouge School

Steven Smith At Dialouge School

Good Morning,

Steven Smith an outstanding young man from Kansas City spent a full day with nine other By Referral Only members mastering the advanced language skills of the initial consultation.

Watch him just nail the 4 options.


P.S. When is now the right time for you to practice your dialouge skills?

Dialouge School " Intense Effective Training"

Good Morning

On Saturday morning, 10 By Referral Only Consultants came to my home at 7:30am absolutely committed to improving their effectiveness at delivering the initial consultation.

Watch Casey Sullivan deliver the "I Am Your Consultant" script.

Casey keep practicing your getting better every time.


What To Say When Your Client Says....

When someone says, “I’m telling people about you, but they’re just not calling,” it’s often difficult to know how to respond. 

The key is to identify these types of situations in advance and have your response ready. 

In this case the appropriate response is, “Thank you!  I really appreciate your being an advocate for me.”  Acknowledge what people do for you. 

Then have the following dialogue:

You:  May I ask who you’re telling about me?
Client:  My sister.  I told her all about you.

You:  That was so nice of you.  Now, I haven’t heard from your sister, but you know her and I don’t.  If I was going to follow up with her, what would be the best way for me to do that?
Client:  Why don’t you call her on the phone?

You:  Do you want me to call her now or do you want to call her first?
Client:  Let me call her today and you can call her tomorrow at this number.
Instead of feeling bad, you just turned this into a referral moment! 

Anytime you get a question or a situation that you don’t have a response to, write it down and come onto The Art of Asking TeleClass.
Click Here :Find Out About the Upcoming Tele Trainings Watch This  Video Now

What is Integrity?



Your Purpose is to be Referable!


Your Primary Business Purpose is to be Referable!

Another way of saying that is, 'your primary purpose in business is to be on purpose'.

Your purpose is who you are.

Who you are is a person who is committed to showing up in all your relationships knowing your advice, your knowledge, your wisdom, your love, your compassion, all your systems, methods and procedures, and all your actions, are leading to one very simple outcome – your client respects and trust you so deeply, that they refer you to the people they care about most.

Because of who you are, your purpose is your highest priority.

Choose To Have An On Purpose Day

Joe Stumpf

A Must Read....Now!

'You've got to find what you love!'

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple
Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

Images I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it.

No big deal.

Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed
around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit.

So why did I drop out?

Read the rest of his brilliant speech; Click Here Now!

When You Use The Four Options To Close, Charge It Neutral

Good Morning,

How have you been doing using the 4 options?

Here is a new distinction.

The next time you're with a client, anchor everything you want them to avoid with the word 'decide' and everything you want them to move towards with the word 'choose'.

Of course, charge every word neutral.


Mr./Mrs. Client, when we are complete with the consultation, you will notice that you have four different options.

Option #1 – You can decide to do nothing at all.
Option #2 – You can decide to do it all on your own.
Option #3 – You can decide to do it with a 'traditional' Broker.
Option #4 – You can choose me.

At the close when you say, "I'm curious, what's it going to be - 1, 2, 3, or me?" and the client says “We choose you."

You say, "So what I hear you saying is you want my to help you, is that correct?"

Charge Everything Neutral

What does charge neutral mean?

Charge neutral describes the tone of voice that has no edge or high or low energy to it. It's a useful communication style when you are asking for anything.

Charge neutral has an almost blase' feel, kind of like describing a boring weather day.

"Oh, it's nice today, isn't it?"

"Oh, your life's a mess, isn't it?"

One can be charge neutral and still be very passionate.

One becomes charge neutral (rather than charge neutral being a technique), when they are comfortable with themselves, aren't performing, see that the universe is perfect, and so on.

Charge up (loud, reactionary, edge in voice, hyper, concerned, problem-oriented) and charge down (patronizing, parenting, diminishing, downing, passive) are what a person shifts from to become charge neutral.

Your Super Servant,


What Is The Difference Between A Center of Influence (COI) vs. A Network?

I was asked at the San Francisco Main Event what my thoughts were on business networking.

The way I see it, a COI is a person who can bring you at least 10% of your business this year.

A COI is well connected, likes or respects you and comes in contact with enough people to be able to feed you referrals or put you in touch with the right people.

You heard it said "it’s not what you know, it’s who knows you that counts." Read Vital Friends -- it will help you deeply understand the importance of the people you choose to allow to influence you.

A Business Network is a collection of colleagues who may or may not send you business. When you join a network of people, each person is angling for the same thing, more business.

Both COI's and networks are valuable, but COI's make you a lot of money without requiring the maintenance of a large network, which can be exhausting and fraught with seduction.

Anabels Reconnect Letter

Good Morning My New Friends,

I loved training you at the Main Event.

Each of you were powerful, positive, willing learners.

Thank you for showing up and playing so BIG.

As I promised here is the letter that Anabel transcribed for us. Thank you Anabel fro keeping your word.


Anabel Reconnect Letter

Dear Joe:

For the past 15 years, I have been in the profession of analyzing businesses. 

With some recent economic turnaround and the nature of our industry to outsource our type of work, it has caused me to reflect on where I can bring my skills to better serve the people I care about. 

I have been contemplating what I could do with my two key skills. 

One is my ability to systematize and organize structure.  I am very keen on asking profound questions, listening to what people are saying, going back, reflecting and designing systems and structures to make their work a lot easier. 

I am very skilled at working with all different types of people at all different levels; managers, front line people and executives.

I was thinking Joe about you. 

What profession would be best for me to best serve you knowing what my skills are? 

After contemplating at this for a while, I have chosen the Real Estate industry.  Now of course the Real Estate industry does not another real estate agent.  There are plenty of them.

But what it needs is a person who knows how to systematize and organize so a seller or a buyer, when they are going through that experience, can really enjoy that process.  And of course it needs someone who can manage people because there are 15 to 18 different people in a real estate transaction.  Somebody has to be inspiring, motivating and encouraging them. 

So Joe I am writing today to let you know that I am bringing my two skills, systems and people, to the real estate industry for you, your friends, family members, and neighbors that you care about most.

I will be staying in touch with you regularly.

Have a wonderful day.



Good Morning,

Meet my daughter Olivia learning how to play guitar. She inspire me!

How Do I Get My Team To Ask?

Good Monring,

Before you teach your team how to ask, make this commitment: 

If you want your team to ask for referrals, reward their behavior when they ask.  Not when they receive a referral, but when they ask. 

That requires a mindset in the company that you – the team leader – puts in place.  That mindset is delivering service that makes you referable and earns you the right to ask for referrals. 

And then – asking!

Let’s say you have a staff member who’s at a computer all day long, doesn’t interact with the clients much.  You walk in one morning and he says, “I asked my neighbor, Mrs. Johnson for a referral yesterday.  They don’t know anyone right now, but they promise they’re going to refer someone to you.” 

That’s rewardable behavior. 

You need a way of tracking who’s asking, and then, who’s bringing in referrals, and rewarding both behaviors.  The culture has to be one of a reward system.  If you’re thinking, “I’m paying their salary,” that’s not a reward system. 

You’re paying them to handle transactions, not bring in more business. 

Money doesn’t change attitude but it does change behavior. 

When you put a reward system in place for asking for referrals and getting referrals, people are going to get more interested.  After a few rewards they’ll be saying, “Okay, tell me how to do this more effectively.” 

Todd Is Taking Care of Business

Have You Been Called To Serve?

Good Morning,

One of my clients asked me this thought provoking questions.

What characteristics can I hone in myself that will keep me thinking at a higher level of nurturing relationships?

My Response

First decide, is this a job, a career, or a calling?

If it’s a job, it’s probably going to be difficult to spend the time, energy and effort needed to nurture relationships.  At the job level you’re in survival mode, and all you’re focused on is finding the next transaction to pay your bills.

If it’s a career, it becomes a little easier because you’re seeing the lifetime value of the client.  You understand that the way you deal with this client is going to reflect on your business in the long term.  The client is going to be connected to you forever because of the people they refer. 

At this point you have systems in place to serve your clients, your business has stability, and you’re moving toward success.

If it’s a calling, your role is to nurture people, be present for them and care about them whether or not they buy, sell or borrow with you. 

Your mindset is, “How can I serve you?  What do you need?  Can I answer a question about your water bill?  Did you receive your monthly payment book?  Oh, you need a chiropractor?  A dentist?  I know a great one.” 

You’re coming from total service instead of, “I’m here for you only if it has something to do with real estate or doing a loan.”  At this point you’ve moved from success to significance and your career has become a calling.

When you believe you have a calling, that you’re here to be of service to others, then you’re thinking and acting at that higher level of nurturing relationships.

Called To Serve

How Can I Get More Consistent Referrals?

Good Morning,

The secret to getting more consistent referrals is by providing more consistent service. 

When you say, “We’re going to call to update you every Wednesday at 2pm,” it’s got to happen every Wednesday at 2pm. 

Even if there’s nothing to say, the telephone call happens Wednesday at 2pm. 

If you do eight Wednesdays in a row and miss the ninth one, they forgot you did it for the first eight. 

That’s why you put systems in place – so it doesn’t rely on your feelings or your personality.

Do not start a system, like World-Class Update or Turbulence Letter or Ultimate Scenario, unless you’re going to do it forever. 

Intro161_2 You can’t “try” a system, you must commit to it permanently. 

Suppose someone refers a friend and tells them, “Wow, wait until you get this Popcorn letter in the mail with the movie tickets.”  If the friend doesn’t receive the Popcorn letter, the referring client thinks, “Oh, you don’t do that for everyone.” 

You lose referability points because your system is unreliable.

People will refer you because of who you are and what you do. 

If you begin with the right mindset and then consistently deliver quality service, you will reap the benefit of more consistent referrals. 

Look to the vision you hold of your future self.

Good Morning,

Happy Saturday!

I just listened to a beautiful song from the  Five for Fighting's album…listen to the words to their song World.

872521_170x170_2 Listen Click Here: Five For Fighting World
What kind of world do you want? 
Think anything  

Let’s start at the start, 

Build a masterpiece  

Be careful what you wish for 
History starts now...


My friend Karen Winter shared these words with me this morning and I choose to pass them on to you.

It’ speaks directly to my heart and I how I feel now.

I believe you will find inspiration in this thought.

Love Joe

Whether We Act In Big Ways or Small Really Isn't The Point.
by Patricia Bechdolt, Th.D.

It is about signaling to the universe and to ourselves that we are serious about our intention to live with authenticity and integrity. 

The personal implications of this alignment are, of course, not at all separate from larger global issues. 

As the world around us faces a crisis of balance, we are each called to contribute to its equilibrium by becoming more centered and balanced ourselves. 

As above, so below. 
As within, so without.

As we serve our soul's intention, we serve the greater good as well.

We are now being asked to cease stopping in our tracks because of what we don't know for sure. .

Look to the vision you hold of your future self.  If, heart and soul, you know it to be the essence of you, then fake it 'til you make it. 

Begin now to embody that person in whatever ways you can, even as you honor your present responsibilities. 

Incorporate that future into the present moment.

As you do so, whatever is false about the life you have been living will reveal itself and dissolve in the face of being more real than you have ever been, and the future will begin to take care of itself in a way that feels more meaningful and invigorating. 

Whatever is unrealistic about what you set in motion now will be brought to light, and whatever is genuine will feel just that way.