That’s at the core for all of us: I want you to accept me. I want you to like me. I don’t want you to reject me.
An easy way to get people to accept you and not reject you is to avoid asking for anything. That’s the little child in us, that 10-year-old who learned early that you risk rejection when you put yourself in the position of asking someone for something.
So, you’ve got to recognize that that child has grown up. This is an adult in business. When you ask for a referral and the person says they don’t know anyone, they’re not saying they don’t know anyone forever. They’re saying, “I don’t know anyone right now.” It’s not a personal attack or a rejection.
You may have to do some inner work along with the outer work of implementing systems and strategies. Focus on gaining your acceptance from yourself, not from others.
Self-esteem is a lot of little victories over a long period of time that you add to an internal bank account. Eventually you’ll take bigger risks because you’ve got something to withdraw on.
The thing that kills self-esteem the fastest is setting unrealistic goals.
Don’t get attached to the outcome, get attached to changing your behavior of asking. And then, every time you ask or BRAG or plant a referral seed, you’ve got a victory. Let the victory be about the behavior and not about the results.
If you work on your behavior, the results will come
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Have you ever wanted to press the re-set button on a particular area of your life?
When we press re-set we get a chance to start all over again plus we get to apply everything we learned from our past experiences. That is how you re-create your life.
Here are my rules for re-creation.
1. I have everything I need to get started right here and right now. I may not have everything I want yet I have everything I need. I believe in the law of motion which states as soon as I move confidently in the direction of my new ideal more will be given to me to help me on my way.
2. I have recognized that energy that I spend worrying about the future is the exact same energy I can use to create the future.
3. I can get everything I want in life all I MUST do is find people who want what I want and then help them get it. If what I want is friendship, companionship, conscious spiritual connection, willingness to expand and grow, meaningful thoughtful loving conversation, adventure, respect, truth and fun then that is what I MUST offer others.
So that’s what I’m thinking and meditating on this morning.
“If you want your clients to be an advocate for you, start by being an advocate for them.” How do I do that?
Adults learn best by example, so the best way to model referral behavior is to help your clients access the high-quality, reliable services they need during their process with you.
A lot of needs arise during the moving process – moving boxes, a new automatic garage door opener, carpet cleaners, lawn care service, and pool service.
In fact, research shows that 70% of the money people spend on improvements is within the first 90 days of moving. The best time to refer people with these services to your client is when their need is highest. If you can be in a position to say, “I have the person for you, don’t worry,” it’s a win for you and big relief for your clients.
And it’s a win-win all the way around, because your client receives great service, you get to model referral behavior to your client and your Team 100 member, and your Team 100 partner is getting better business.
In short, if you want referrals – refer!
The other day I found myself going down the street and I had my brake on. What a ridiculous way todrive! The car obviously didn’t have the pep or the pick- up that I had come to expect. As soon as I noticed that the emergency brake was on, I released it, and boy – the feeling I had when I released the brake was incredible!
Have you ever had the feeling of releasing the brake?
Without realizing it or intending to, many people move through life with their brake partly set. When your ability to do something is not functioning or flowing the way you want it to, it’s like when the car is not moving with the ability it has to move. When you’re at that place, what do you do next?
Do you release the brake – or do you start trying harder?
What I find is a lot of people trying harder in their business, when trying harder really is not the answer. Trying harder is like pressing your foot on the gas while the brake is still on. If you do that too long, you’re going to burn out the engine.
What I’m going to recommend is you allow the BY REFERRAL ONLY Community to help you release your brake. And the area that will give you the greatest release is asking for referrals.
Asking truly is a skill. The way you become masterful in any skill is by practice. The highest-paid people on the planet are entertainers and athletes.
And what do they do vigilantly?
They practice, practice, practice.
At every moment, you’re getting stronger at something, and that something is what you’re practicing.
If you’re practicing not asking for referrals, you’re actually getting stronger at not asking for referrals.
If you are asking for referrals and you’re practicing that over and over and over, you’re getting stronger at asking for referrals.
True mastery is to really want a referral, to really desire a referral, to know it’s appropriate for others to refer, and take full responsibility for those referrals.